The Opera Populaire

It is sure difficult to lead a life without your own PC/lappie. Had been shopping around and more or less decided on a model, but have yet to go buy it for some reason. Not one of procrastination though.

I have been learning to be meek. It hasn't been easy, especially when people around are not always sensitive to your feelings nor when they judge without first attempting to understand your situation. But then, how many people actually have the time care for others in this time and age? As someone wrote, it's all about "me,myself and I" in this age. And increasingly so, I may add. Not that the words have been meant badly. I know they have my well-being in mind. But it is still not easy.

Most of my gal frens are extremely career-minded, even ambitious I may add. I am just not like that. In fact, I see nothing wrong with graduates settling down to become housewives, providing that is what they really want out of life and that they continue to seek growth in every area of their lives e.g. intellectually. But I am not the housewife material either. But I think I am practical enough not to take money out of the equation when seeking employment or when I make choices in life such where I am now.

In short, I am simply different. But being different takes courage.

These days, I am seriously contemplating doing something that will greatly affect my life. My fren has mentioned the possibility of implementing that, but of course it remains to be seen.

Anyway, Stephen & I met up on Fri after not seeing each other for nearly 2 years. He brought me to look around his office and we went to watch "The Banquet". It was only passable, in my opinion. Din realise that it was based on Shakespeare's "Hamlet" till somewhere in the middle heehee :p Felt that it tried to riddle the movie with meaning etc, but those were far too in your face. The acting was also marred by the ho-hum storyline. But the costumes and cinematography were good.

My ex came to join us for a short while after the movie cos Stephen and him were going for "Miami Vice" (which I wanted to watch!). It was a bit awkward, but we were both polite. It is good to know that he has found the Lord, though.

My fren wrote that "people always change" in her blog. Sigh...I cannot agree more. Are our social circles destined to dwindle till they consist of nothing more than our spouses and family members? For now, I am grateful for my relationships with those I have come to know and love here as well as back there in Jakarta and other parts of the world.

Girls are changing in this modern age. Bro is right: a gal like me is becoming obsolete.

I just heard 2 news....1 sad and 1 joyful.

Something tragic has happened to my ex's family member. I sent my condolences to him and I hope he is doing fine and being strong.

The great news is that he and his family have accepted Christ! I'm still at a loss of what to feel. All these 2 years....I have long since given up praying for that to happen. Many things have changed for me since then and I have managed to move on from the shadow of our past relationship.

To be told this.....I want to cry and laugh at the same time. God indeed is a miracle worker!

Came back to find that my beloved lappie of 5 years have conked out, so I guess I won't be online much for the time being. Now using my cousin's laptop typing these posts out. Any nice souls wanna help me choose a new lappie?

Had a nice weekend in Bangkok. We sort of made history, being the 2nd airline to fly into Bangkok's new Suvarnabhumi Airport. And we got a certificate for that! Shall upload the photos at a later date.

Basically spent most of our time shopping (duh...haha). Din buy much though, cos found that I could get some stuff cheaper in S'pore or Jakarta and the ppl r becoming more resistant to bargaining. We also managed to eat some really good food, some from roadside stalls somemore. Thank God nobody got stomach upset. They r cheap, too, so it was really satisfying. We oso ate a lot of bird's nest soup and Raine felt that her skin improved from it heehee :) Managed to try great tzi char, traditional Thai food, creamy ice coffee and even Jap food from the Patpong area!

I was glad we managed to see the famed Jim Thompson's house, which exceeded all of our expectations. Amantha declared that she will recommend it to anyone visiting Bangkok. Its architecture and interior decoration is very pretty indeed....traditional Thai-style, yet with combination of craetive innovations. We were so amazed to find out that what we thought was some nice cat figurine on the dressing table turned out to be a chamber pot for boys! The girl's chamber pot was in the shape of a frog, by the way. Hahahaha u learn something new everyday.

Sadly, we din have the time to enter into the Grand Palace cum Temple of the Emerald Buddha. Took some pictures outside just to show we have been there before I led Raine on a long detour in the sweltering mid-day heat hahahaa. Bought a new book on the Thai king, who is still one of my research interest, as souvenir.

I liked taking the boat down the Chao Phraya River. The boat or river taxi as they called it, was a tad too crowded, but I have always had a bit of a sailor in me :) Walked to the front to take photos of Wat Arun and nearly missed our stop becos on the way out, we had to make a detour becos a group of monks were standing near the doorway. One of them politely motioned to me to not get near.

Bangkok is a lot more developed than Jakarta. I liked the MRT and Skytrain system, which was pretty efficient and convenient. The city was also quite clean! The traffic jam was not as bad as it was hyped out to be. Try Jakarta for comparison haha.

And the people were of course very friendly and courteous. We kept oggling the Thai girls, who look quite "hot" and possess good figures. The Thais are quite good-looking people. We oso met a lot of transvestites, who work as waitresses and salesgirls. Interesting indeed. But there are some things happening in the Patpong area that really made you think: is it really the relative open-mindedness of the society there that permitted such things, or is it poverty that drove them?

Wanted to watch Thai kick boxing but Raine, Amantha and Ming Siong not interested heehee.

Just a side thought. Was telling Raine it is indeed rare to find travel companions who can make you enjoy a holiday even when you are not doing anything new or supremely interesting. Had that experience before I went back Jakarta, but I guess some things will never be the same. There will be other people.

Found my juniors from St. John's on Friendster and decided to add them. Yes, everyone of us have grown up and changed from those days in the past. Seeing their photos made me really nostalgic about those sweet, innocent days. No worries about your financial status, finding a job that suits you, no boys to take you on emotional roller-coaster rides...

I have a soft spot for the "grey tag" batch. This is the highly intelligent and capable batch and we had every hope of training them to the standards of the 1980s when SNGS was the top name in the HQ. Although I exercised every bit of strictness over them, I also became very fond of them. A few of them became my secret pals, one or two out of their own accord and not out of previous arrangements. Back then, I think I had about 3 or 4 secret pals (some from other levels) and letters and gifts were flying to and fro, delivered by middlemen (or fake middlemen, as some of them turned out hehe).

As I scrolled through their photos, I can almost hear and read the words they said or write to me so long ago. I still treasure this Tigger soft toy they gave me for my birthday then, in addition to other gifts. But more precious than that, is the friendship we shared, even though we no longer keep in contact. Sigh, sigh....super nostalgic day today :)

I was checking out the profile of my most recently added friend on Friendster, this former classmate of mine from secondary school, and I found myself gaping at her photos. She is simply incredibly beautiful! Ok...she has always been that sort of gal who has it all...incredibly beautiful, incredibly smart, capable, rich...u name it. Haha...it is true, guys, we gals lurve to check out other gals and I am no exception. Although I think I am less observant than most of my gal pals. Raine once asked me if I notice anything different about her and I spent 5 min scrutinising her and giving her 4 wrong guesses b4 she told me the answer herself :p

Anyway, yeah, it got me thinking once again about the subject of beauty. The Bible says that:"Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but the woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." We all know that even the most beautiful woman must someday reminisce after her past days of glory. Yet beauty is one thing almost everyone hankers after. Skincare products, clothes, accessories fly off the shelves because of this pursuit.

Sometimes I wonder how much people meant it when they say that they value inner beauty more than outward appearances. So why do they spend so much more cash to look attractive and not to be attractive?

Not that I am advocating that we all start shunning the gym and exchange our fashionable threads for anything that resembles a tent. I agree with one writer that the Bible emphasizes enough about beautiful men and women....God certainly did not intend for us to not care about our appearances! Look at Sarah, Esther, Rachel, David, Daniel and the list goes on. I guess to me, true beauty is not only about taking care of your outward appearance, but cultivating something deep within. As Gracie said, one of her criteria for true beauty is a big heart. One that is loving (not out of your own subconscious neediness) towards other people.

Ok...this post struck me as being very "blah" or overwritten. But I guess the issue is still there for us in our quarter-life, not a girl (or a boy) but not yet a woman (man). I know some people who emphasize sooo much on looks that, while I respect their views, I find it hard to agree or see eye to eye with them. Like someone who recently reiterated to me that his number 1 criteria for a galfren is beauty. Sigh....plenty of them out there, I guess. But erm...can that criteria be a stand-alone thing; how about other stuff like compatibility or her character? Because his next criteria is intelligence. Ok...I am really getting judgemental here. It's not godly, Jenn. Stop it.

I also notice that, as we grow up, many of the people around me dig what I call the "contrived look". It means the dolled-up look: never going out without your make-up on, eyebrows tweezed, blah blah. Of course, in some profession, occasion or society like in Korea, it is considered a form of propriety to apply make-up and being well put together in general. I am probably one of the rare few among my acquaintances who dun apply a sliver of make-up when I go out, unless it is to attend some important event. I am too lazy to even do some beauty rituals many a times hohoho. Which probably means no metrosexual will ever go for me *LOL*

"Contrived look" can have a real nice visual effect, but it is a pity when it is excessive or wrongly done. Like gals who pluck their eyebrows when they dun have much to begin with. Sometimes the "contrived look" kind of make an originally pretty gal less lovely than she otherwise would have been.

I guess at the end of the day, everyone has their own standard of what contitutes beauty and how they want to appear to others. Perhaps for me, the key is not to beautify or emphasize on looks excessively, cultivate your personality and individual taste, eat and exercise correctly, dress appropriately and most importantly, stay in a right relationship with God :)

I guess having been blessed with a sheltered life, I take a lot of things for granted and fail to see some things happening right under my nose. It just strikes me that people can be really selfish and greedy out there. I din get the vibes back in S'pore, but here, it perpetually flashes its ugly face at you. Just wondering how much to reveal in a blog sometimes.

For one, we are all too familiar with the government here. I was indignant when I read about the demand for annual 13th-month bonus by the civil servants here, when poverty is increasing. The most recent tsunami at Pangandaran had also been played down and lesser aid given, presumably because the regime fears for its credibility after having gone through three tsunamis within 2 years (never underestimate the power of mystic beliefs here). And... um, with all due respect to a certain powerful personality here, I think it is not at all strange that poverty level is increasing at the same time as GDP is increasing.

On a micro level, there seems to be a prevalence of a mentality of "I am not at fault!". Perhaps the costs of living made it necessary to defend what little you already have, but I simply dislike the attitude of explaining what is black into white and not wanting to take responsibility. Maybe I'm just too used to the S'porean attitude of compliance haha.

And about greed....sigh...it explains itself, doesn't it? The Bible says:"Money is the root of all evil." How very true, I find. And with power accumulated, the greed just grow insatiably.

I dun think I have grown cynical. I am just recounting what I see or hear about and how I feel about those issues, something like what a journalist would do. Perhaps I will become cynical, if I stay here long-term and dun have God to keep me in check. It's just that being here sometimes remind me a lot of certain depraved places in the Bible, like Nineveh. It just reinforce once again how much we all need God.