The Opera Populaire

I have decided to skip lecture tonight. This obsession with doing a dissertation-worthy term paper has reached its limit for me. I actually emailed D about feeling angry at what he did about 1998: reducing it to mere statistics and downplaying the existence of rape victims. He responded to a later email about statistics, but not to that issue. I don't know if he had seen it; the lack of reply does make me feel like I'm in the wrong but I think deep inside my heart, I know everyone feels the same. I'm the only idiot who spoke our minds. Well, it's not the first time. Asians are not known to be the most assertive. I am not either, but I think time and age have changed me somewhat. I am not about to let something that matter to me and to my kind be treated lightly.

I am not the smartest person around. In fact, I suspect I'm prolly the dumbest since Hons days or even prior to that. But I try my best in everything I do and I think I've been reasonably well-regarded, career-wise, so I don't fear for my rice bowl.

Speaking of career, I am getting less and less partial towards the idea of serving my bond in a certain place. Bureaucracy and the resulting inflexibility annoy me like nothing else. Why must I pay 50 cent to deposit my belongings in a locker, fill up endless registration forms for my details and purpose for being there and promise to send my thesis to them just to use the damned library? Oh, and buy a new photocopying card just to use that one and only photocopy machine in the entire place. If it wasn't because I was desperate, I would not have deigned to step in! And even then, I didn;t really find what I was looking for. So I just have to suck it and plough through that paper the best I could. Thankfully, Boss had asked me back.

Can't wait to finish this whole damn study. Can't wait for the holidays. Can't wait to wedding day. Can't wait to start earning a proper salary. Meanwhile, back to the paper I go.

Labels: Rambles, Random, Saya Affairs

I wish that I possess just some of that zzzz genes that my maternal side of the family have. These people can sleep anywhere, anytime they want (or don't want). Then I dont have to think that much about the kind of mattress and pillow that I need to buy. And I won't have to spend so much. Getting married is an exorbitant affair. Or at least it applies more to moi *sigh*

I think I'm forced to skip lecture tmr. D is annoying the life out of everyone in class with his Marxist interpretation of virtually everything in this planet (he managed to believe that even gender and sexuality is influences by class) and breathing down our necks for the research note. It's crazy. This is not a thesis class. We are all either working part-timers or students struggling with 4 other modules. And he puts us all in stereotypes. Yes, I am Indon Chinese, but we are not just "petty bourgeoisie". We work hard for our money. And we do not throw our hard-earned cash like the Lim family on frivolous things. And statistics do not speak the whole truth. Do not attempt to convince me that rapes do not occur during 1998 just because you can't find reliable data. If one can find reliable data about anything in Indonesia, it won't be the way it is.

I just discovered that Mannelli bracelets are actually a must-have for fashionistas: http://mannelliflorence.com/index2.php?pag=1 Not as famous as Hermes bracelets, but way more affordable! Anyone going to Florence? I want one (or maybe 3!)

Labels: Rambles, Random, Saya Affairs

I think there is a serious prob when a family is rich enough to afford a new, branded car but have problems using it to go to the market, or for any other purpose for that matter. What I mean is that, even if they are willing to "dirty" the new car, it is not available at home at the time of need, but instead is over elsewhere that already possesses 2 cars of their own. I think it is a serious flaw in the moral values of those who thinks the need to butter up rich friends but have no time to think about their mother/ in-law who needs the car to go to the market or go to her great-grandson's birthday. I think it is crazy that people are thinking that, just because an old man is wealthy, he needs to buy the best car and do other things just because he can afford it.

I think there is no need to go to the most expensive restaurants to have the most delicious food. Some of the best foods I've had are in the remote corner of Chinatown or at the roadside in Bangkok and Hanoi. I also do not see the shame in choosing to celebrate one's 80th birthday at home even though he can afford better.

I am of the opinion that, unfortunately, in this life, if you are blessed with wealth, people will be kind to you even if you behave like an asshole. So, thrifty people, eat dust.

Labels: Rambles, Random

I was made to chair class discussion twice this week. Gosh, public speaking is something I fear the most. It was many years till I found the best method that work for my Powerpoint presentation: prepare the script (complete with cue as to when to click the mouse) beforehand and read off it! But it is something else to chair class discussion, esp when it was impromptu! Thank goodness Dr. T was pretty encouraging, despite his ah beng ways. And I guess a masters level class was less intimidating than PhD one. Still I know I have a long way to go before perfecting my public speaking skills. I don't even like to ask questions in class, because the first words that come out of my mouth tend to sound so raw and awkward. I much prefer penning down my thoughts, where they can be subject to a little editing to sound more polished.

Been waking up automatically at 4 plus am and having a hard time trying to fall back into sleep. It makes for a tired and not to mention grumpy person the next day.

I'm sick of being pressed for decisions. For months now, I've had to make decisions about my house, my wedding, my MA stuff etc etc etc. Can someone pls help me decide, esp when things involve lotsa money, for now?

Labels: Rambles, Random, Saya Affairs

God does indeed deliver when you need the most. I'm having a car to school today. Feel really grateful, esp as it is looking like rain.

I don't think I have the making of an academic. I can't think, I don't argue my case well and I find it really difficult to understand what authors are trying to put across sometimes. So what is my future? Anything other than civil service? That would be surrendering my life to the darkest side.

Sometimes I wonder why others my age are already living it up, having those things that me and my bro can only dream about. It is strange, too, how those who can actually afford them are the ones who lost/ never have the taste to pull the style off. I saw this tai-tai wearing an all-yellow ensemble (yellow silk shift dress and yellow Vivienne Westwood high heels with large heart at the toes) striding purposefully around CK Tangs. Never mind her bad taste, the salesgirl greeted her warmly while coolly ignoring poor ol' moi. Was it because of that Birkin bag she was carrying?? I also know someone my age who gets these invites to Lamborghini and Hermes parties, but look strangely like any of those S'porean lians even with those Chanel 2.55 bags and Ferragamo shoes. Which brings me to the point that expensive need not equal style. But anyway, I'm probably showing more of my inherent dissatisfaction with my life.

Perhaps I should go into some kind of entrepreneurship? Which I know nothing about. But I still hold fast to that promise God showed Mister and I. Speaking of him, it has been a few days no almost no contact, save a few emails and MSN conversation one lucky night. I realised how much we have both grown to care for and depend on one another for emotional support. The week feels lonely and slow to pass. It must be hard to be singles at this point in our lives. For us, I just wish that this difficult and horribly busy period will be over soon.

I keep thinking about my house, which renovation just started yesterday. The colour scheme and chandeliers may make it resemble the French opera house! At least, it made me think of The Phantom of the Opera musical set-up. I remember photographing the large chandelier with those red curtain backdrop. Let's pray it turns out beautiful and not over the top. I looking at this silver Arabian ship lamp that I'm hoping to incorporate into the house and hoping it will not look out of place in the French-inspired setting. Maybe my next house, if I ever buy any, will be Moroccan/ Persian/Arabian 1001 Nights themed! I'm so interested in the Jewels of the Mughal Empire exhibition at ACM, but have no time to visit it. We are also lucky for the donation of cutlery and kitchen utensils from our parents. I have this Wedgewood or something tea cup set that my folks never used! So happy. Now here's praying that we find good mattress and dining room set.

Labels: Rambles, Random, Saya Affairs

The penchant for doing fashion show during wedding.

What's with the craze about having 3-5 changes of gowns on the wedding day? Most of them are hardly model standards and worse yet, I think it is awful to parade rented gowns that obviously don't fit, look kua zang and are yellowing from having been dry-cleaned once too often. I have also yet to see a bride who looks good in her evening gown.

The obsession about wanting Mercedes for bridal car

Mercedes is so 1980s. Period.

The yum seng

Loud, boorish, meaningless. At least to me.

The irony: they tend to look better in their pre-wedding shots than on the actual day

Eeeeks! Pre-wedding photo albums tend to collect dust after the wedding.

The fact that they made jie-meis wear shorter version of the white wedding gown

Gives meaning to the term ban (in my case, meaning 'half' rather than 'accompanying') niang.

That everyone chooses the tried-and-tested ballroom route

Hey there are plenty of other great venues!

They think buffet= cheap

Labels: Rambles, Random

My mood swings between extremes on weekdays and weekends. Now it's back to low. Sick and tired of evening lessons so I decided to skip class tis evening. Hope Thu comes soon. I say this because, despite the heavy workload, I actually enjoy Dr. A-T's lesson. And also becos it's in daytime, when everything is more sane. I think there is a time frame for studying in human lives, so if you are past it, forget about it if you are not called towards academia.

Had my hair cut at a salon I saw in Liang Court. I figured that any place frequented by Japs would not be too bad. Turn out that I was right. Although I fear it may not grow long enough for my wedding, it looked pretty decent. The price is a bit higher than my regular salon, but it's acceptable. The stylist confirmed my worst fear: I looked like a monster before I entered the salon. This hair of mine is the most unmanageable thing in the world. How I envy girls with normal, un-frizzy hair.

Should I invest in a rose-scented body scrub? Loved the smell, but it is a bit pricey. Need to get down to looking beautiful for the wedding. I'm the laziest bride-to-be, but I figured that I have no need for facial. Just good exercise will do, which I have no time for. Will 2 months be sufficient to get me looking toned and glowing?? I don't think so, but oh what the heck.

Speaking of Japan, Mister is in Tokyo now. Guess his handphone can't be used there.

Wishing for the weekend to come asap.

Labels: Saya Affairs

I've always adored French fashion. In my opinion, the French style is inimitably beautiful. When I visited Paris, I remembered being struck by the shoes that the ladies wore. Almost all high-heeled, they always compliment the outfits and looked different from what women elsewhere wore. I also remember our local guide, who was French, married to a Taiwanese and spoke some Chinese. She wore pink moccasins and carried with her pink Longchamp bag (it was so chic on her, before it was reduced to school bags and the bag every aunty could afford). I had wanted moccasins ever since, but never found them complimentary to me. And I truly regretted not buying shoes back then, but as a student, cash was always an issue.

Anyway, I have recently developed an addiction to all things from the French brand starting with "H". Got myself some of those coveted scarves and enamel bracelets (all fake), which drew much admiration. But after a while, I decided to splurge on the real thing. Ebay, of course. I still dare not step into those boutiques and anyway they cost much more here than in Paris. Anyone going to Paris, let me know okay!!

My online purchases were supposed to have arrived on Fri, but as no one opened the gate, I had to arrange for re-delivery. Nothing beats the rush that I get when they arrive. Like Weijin said, it's like Christmas, minus the surprise :) And the feeling when you see those orange boxes and plastic bag! Doctors should recommend it for any girl suffering from stress.

Okay, okay. Back to all things French. I have always loved those French-inspired sofas etc, but had resigned myself to never having them, because we can only afford Ikea and V-Hive stuff after paying for wedding and renovation expenses. But God recently directed me to a website selling French furniture at Ikea prices! I went down to the owner's house and she is selling those in her house at discounted prices from the website! So what else can 2 cash-strapped people do except to buy and buy and buy. Now I am having 2 chandeliers, sofa, ottoman, Baroque bedhead and side tables at the price of one 5-seater sofa! I couldn't be happier. God is really good to those who obey Him.

I am still a bit worried that my house will look excessive with those French furniture and lightings and wall colour. As it is, I think my bedroom is going in the direction of Anna Sui showroom. And my living room...all I can say is hmm! If it end up looking excessive, it will all be my fault for selecting those lights and opting for those furniture and colour. Lets pray for the best. At least, the French boudouir style I was saying to Lorraine is coming true :p It's a pity that the Morrocan/ Persian/ Arabian Night inspiration could not be realised for now, but maybe we may buy some stuff from our honeymoon in Turkey!

Labels: Saya Affairs

This week was one of the lowest point in my academic life. D kept hounding me for that term paper. "It's already week 7. Please settle on a topic and get moving." Something like that. For 4 consecutive emails. And in class, I was kind of singled out as the person whose butt moved the least in terms of preparation for the term paper topic. Now, why must we think about a research question BEFORE writing the essay, if we are only writing a term paper?? We were released at 10 pm again. I had no car and in the end decided to find myself a cab. I ended up getting one which driver was an old man who did not know that Mediacorp is the new name for SBC and who drove at 40-50 km/hour. And I had to remind him that I wished to take the Bukit Timah way every 5 min.

Back home, I realised that the car was finally gone. Forever. The new one is obviously out of bounds for me. So I fell into deep despair for 2 days. I thought I concealed the evidence well, but people, including MAT, asked me what happened to those peepers. Anyway, after ranting for 2 days and demanding that I would remain indignant and in despair until He explain to me exactly what happened, He finally did. Felt very chastened. God does have our best interest in mind, even when the circumstances seem otherwise.

Anyway, I was blessed in other ways. My thyroid level is normal, despite the enormous amount of stress. And we finally sorted out the colours and materials for our house and bought the lights. Although I am wondering if the lights, furniture and colours are a bit too much for a wee dwelling like ours. I should have kept things simpler. But some bargains were just too fantastic to resist and I think my state of mind is probably a bit strange at this point in time. Hope the house turn out as beautifully as Chingling and Alex's still.

Labels: Saya Affairs

The Pain has intensified. Yup, 'tis the time for term papers and soon, exams.

I generally do not have problems writing papers, but I do have a problem posing a research question. I know it's week 7 and I really need to step it up a bit. But if you are juggling house renovation, wedding planning and your papers, your brain tends not to work as well. If at all.

Putting your new house together is pretty fun. Choosing your colours and getting your furniture under the guidance of a good contractor is pleasant. We also got a good deal at the NATAS Fair for our honeymoon.

But a research paper is never fun.

2 more months of pain and sorrow before freedom. I can live this down, with God's help.

Labels: Saya Affairs