The Opera Populaire

Just read a sister in Christ's blog. I seldom read her blog, but whenever I do, I always find myself wistful for her positive outlook and joy in the Lord. Something that I find hard to do these days. Especially today. Because, I have reached a limit of how much I can take. Getting exhausted mentally and emotionally. Just want to get away from it all.

I am the sort of person who like to tackle problems head on. I never believe in skirting issues because problems buried is the same as problems alive. Unfortunately, I come to realise over the past year that there are some problems that cannot be solved within a short period of time no matter how you try to be brave and face it and how clearly you try to express yourself. Esp those that had been accumulated over the years. It is also dependent on the other party, of course. Communication. The whole world agrees that it is a good thing. But how many truly understand and apply it?

God created all of us with unique characters. When we accept Him as our Lord, He transforms us more and more into His likeness. But, I just wonder if I have really changed after accepting Him? This world....there are some character traits that people value more than others. Parents like sweet, obedient children. Guys like bubbly gals. Ah well....that's the way it is.

At least, other more minor goals have been more or less achieved. Must keep reminding myself that God will make everything beautiful in His time and not give up praying.

Learnt a big lesson: dress appropriately, whatever the occasion.

Looks like I have picked up certain bad habits about dressing from my years in S'pore. S'poreans, for e.g., simply dun bother dressing up when they go to watch plays or for concerts. The churches that I had attended there had also been pretty casual when it comes to dressing. I remember Mike and Mel assuring someone that in The Third Place, we welcome you even if you come in flip-flops, and he was so happy to hear that. He said that in the past, he did not want to consider Christianity because a church he went to did not welcome him when he came with slippers. I like how "cool" and unjudgemental we are :) And I do think it is less an issue about social propriety than how our outer appearance shd reflect our inner respect and love for our God when it comes to dressing to go to church. But I realised that I must also keep in mind cultural norms as I go to different places and dress to respect that.

Ok, in case you are all wondering what I have been rambling about, I went to the central traffic police station in Jakarta to make my driving license on Sat, after waiting for months! Must confess that, yesh, it is a "kopi" license :p That's why I had to wait so long for them to give a green light, cos they regularly "clamp" down on such business from time to time. So all it was gonna be was a photo-taking session.

Since it was a Saturday, I decided to be fashionable and wear culottes with a cotton blouse, something that all fashionista Indo Chinese ladies are wearing. Except that theirs reach nicely to their knees and mine doesn't.

The moment we tried to enter the building, a policeman looked exceedingly upset and asked if I am a foreigner; why was I wearing shorts? But he let me pass, shaking his head disgustedly all the while. I felt upset, but thought that was the end of my trouble. Right? Very wrong.

As I entered another section, the policewoman called me back. She put out both hands to point at me, asking why was I dressed like that? Told me that was an office and that I had to go back home to change. Said to my Dad that that was an office, not the marketplace. So I handed them back the pass and left, wishing I could climb into a hole there and then.

We solved the prob by driving to somewhere nearby (made far by the noon time traffic jam), get a pair of cheap pants to wear and managed to get in. I could barely smile by the time, although the officer in charge of taking photos was nice and even asked if I wanna take a few more to get a better shot. Sigh...lesson learnt indeed.

On a nicer note, I drove to work today. Not bad at all; managed to weave thru the sardine of a traffic jam and impatient and inconsiderate drivers here. I think Dad felt that his student has turned out pretty ok. The key to driving in a chaotic road condition like here is to be really alert all the time, not give in to fear and look for "opportunities" esp at jams. Considering that even my uncles from S'pore don't dare to drive here, I feel really proud of myself! Hahahaa...oops....I'm seriously becoming too conceited for my own good :p Just learnt to walk and now I'm thinking of flying! There is still a lot of room for improvement, really. Hopefully soon I can help drive parts of the distance when we go to other cities.

Encountered some interesting things over the weekend. Thought I will share them with all of you.

Was driving past Bundaran HI (Hotel Indonesia Roundabout: below) when I noticed a few people sitting in lotus positions, one hand holding onto candles wrapped with cloth shaped to look like lotus, meditating. Only after looking about did I notice that there were not only 5 of them, but a whole large group sitting encircling the fountain below! The light from the lotus candles made a pretty sight in the night. Apparently they were Falungong demonstrators.
Then, on Sun morning, while on our way to Banten, we had to stop at a traffic junction because our way was blocked by a whole troop of Front Pembela Islam (Islamic Defenders Front) on motorcycles. Apparently they were on their way to the Presidential Palace to demonstrate. It was an eye-opener to see the number of supporters because the troop took about more than 7 minutes before the tail of the group drove past.

Front Pembela Islam is a radical Muslim group who recently appeared in the news for suing Miss Indonesia 2005, Nadine Chandrawinata (below, 3rd from left) because she chose to wear a bikini during the recent Miss Universe 2006 pageant (below) in Los Angeles.


Miss Chandrawinata is of mixed German-Chinese Indonesian heritage and speaks 5 languages. But she had faced criticisms upon arriving back in Indonesia not only for her apparent flouting of Islamic rules (well, she is Catholic actually) by appearing in a bikini, but also because she used Bahasa Indonesia instead of English when replying during the interview segment of the pageant. Slightly embarrassed, she told the reporters from Bisnis Indonesia (Saturday, 18th August 2006) that she was still suffering from the effects of jet lag when she made the mistake and quoted that Miss Puerto Rico, Zuleyka Rivera, also did not speak English but that was no barrier to her winning the Miss Universe 2006 title.

Yeah, I think something akin to stage fright happens to anyone and switching to doing something you are most comfortable with at that moment is a natural reaction, so Indonesians really should give Miss Chandrawinata a break about the language issue!

On a more trivial matter, was dining at a restaurant in Banten where you sit in different thatched roof houses, on straw mats with low tables (called lesehan). Behind us was a forest. Suddenly I noticed that a rather big-sized toad had climbed up from the forest side to our straw mat! I screamed and climbed pathetically onto the low chair beside mine, telling my parents to get rid of it. Even though they did manage to shoo it back to the forest floor beside the lesehan, it literally left me weak in the knees after that hahaha. *Shudder*

When our dinner arrived, a cat came to our lesehan, walking about and looking at us with big beady eyes, made even bigger by the dilation of its pupils at night. When we finally fed her our fish and chicken bones, I saw that she hesitated. Then, she took a bone and went down to this drain. Peering down, I saw a kitten emerging from the shadows. The cat placed the bone and just sat there watching with the most maternal look in her eyes as her kitten ate, not taking any for herself. Just felt so touched at the sight. I had thought she was a greedy cat but she was actually doing it all for her kitten. Truly, a parent's love is great.

Read a fren's past blog entries a few days ago and an entry about social circle touched me.

Yeah, I do think that one may have the same friends all her life, but her social circle changes with time. Was thinking about the various people who have come and go in my life, the people whom I was once very close to but have now drifted apart. While there has always been this independent streak in me, I am blessed to have friends to support and affirm me in this journey through life. Friendships can change you, as some of my friends will testify.

I thought back to my JC days when I really wanted to belong to the class, but somehow was never accepted due to differences in mentality. There was another issue affecting it then but I think that is a side point. I agree with an article I just read this morning that said sometimes regaining back a sense of worth is just a matter of leaving a particular social circle and going to another where you are affirmed and supported, because that was what happened when I finally entered university. I had always thought something was wrong with me in JC, but recently, a fren who got close to my JC classmates told me she got the same vibes from them! Hmm won't say they are wrong in their lifestyle and attitudes, but perhaps just different. And not exactly something I admire or aspire to be. I still smile and greet them nicely whenever I meet them by chance, but I no longer get affected upon knowing that they organised outings without inviting me or when I hear some of their remarks etc.

It is nice to have friends who love you just the way you are, love what you love and want to help you grow. And while it often doesn't feel nice at first, it is wonderful to have friends who tell you harsh things just because they know you need it. To me, these are the ways God love me; through my friends.

The sad thing is that, these people may probably leave you at some point in life. Sometimes I wonder if social circles are destined to shrink until you are left with the person you marry and perhaps the family you built by then, as well as your colleagues. Work, dating, marriage or simply, distance. All these may take time and energy away from keeping in touch with friends. Sigh. Perhaps it is true indeed that 有缘则聚，无缘则罢. I just sense changes in the air and it is making me feel apprehensive about going to Singapore. Oh well. The only constancy in life is change. I should follow the advice of someone who quoted a sign in a Socialist work camp: "Work sets you free!" ;-)

Yupz I'm back in 1 piece from the Banten region. It has been a while since we last went there. The place generally remained very much the same, one huge part being the big industrial area of Krakatau Steel, the other part being simple villages with rice fields side by side with beach resorts. But tourism has largely fallen since the tsunami as ppl avoid going to beach resorts these days. We were hounded by villagers trying to sell us things from seashells to soursops and did buy some stuffs after hearing their plight.

I also went for my 1st ever massage cum lulur ( Javanese body scrub) session at this Japanese restaurant cum massage chain. Found myself feeling very ticklish a lot of times and had to stifle my giggling, but it was a relaxing experience. Hmm it reminded me of Weijin's posting about the "dirty Hong Kong gal" :p Have always been lazy about beauty regiment other than the most basic cleansing, toning and moisturising. In between rubbing the lulur into my skin, I asked the lady about the owner and background of the restaurant. Turned out that he is a Javanese who had studied in Japan and married a Japanese! I have always found the restaurant very nicely decorated and the food super good and authentic, and apparently away from the capital, the chain still lived up to its reputation. Took a shower to wash off the lulur in a beautiful stone bathroom that looks like those hot spring places in Japan. Very impressive indeed!

Recently, a few of my best frens talked to me about the issue of love and money. Not the most romantic issue, but a very crucial one nevertheless. The few of us coming from relatively able family, we have never had the burden of needing to support our folks and thus may have a different concept of spending and saving vis-a-vis our partners. Sometimes this becomes sensitive enough to warrant a quarrel or even a break up.

I guess it's a fine line to walk for us gals oso. "High-maintenance", "materialistic". So far, nobody of the opposite sex has put that tag on me, but I have heard it so often that I wonder how do they define those terms? I guess sometimes these are just impressions and maybe once they understand these gals, that's not how they are, really. Some of my frens who are in relationships also do care and try to be sensitive to the their guy frens' financial situation and try not to demand too much, hard as it may be at times. It is indeed not easy to date or marry someone from a different financial background or/and attitude.

Being romanced with chocolates and flowers etc are nice, but to me, what is the most romantic is to be romanced with the heart. It doesn't take much to make a girl happy, really. Going all the way to get breakfast for someone cos she can't wake up early, talking to her till late cos she needs a listening ear, a nice simple origami just cos he was thinking of her then etc. The monetary value isn't the key here; it's the heart. Sounds simple, but I guess it's becoming increasingly rare in our fast-paced society and as we grow up. Sometimes I think guys romance gals with their heart when they are still studying and had no money to spare, but turn to the monetary value of the gift once they start earning, perhaps to make up for not having the time oso. Sad indeed.

Dear peeps,

I am leaving for the beach resort of Serang, at the Western tip of Java, near Mount Krakatoa. Dad refused to fight the long weekend traffic jam to the mountains, and the hotels at the beach resorts have slashed down their prices since the tsunamis.

If anything should happen while we are there, please take this posting as a parting message from me. I love you all!

Buahahaha...paiseh for being melodramatically nonsensical :p

In Indonesian:
PROKLAMASI
Kami, bangsa Indonesia, dengan ini menjatakan kemerdekaan Indonesia.
Hal-hal jang mengenai pemindahan kekoeasaan d.l.l., diselenggarakan dengan tjara saksama dan dalam tempo jang sesingkat-singkatnja.
Djakarta, hari 17 boelan 8 tahoen 45
Atas nama bangsa Indonesia
Soekarno - Hatta


English translation:
PROCLAMATION
We, the Indonesian people, hereby declare the independence of Indonesia.
Matters concerning the transfer of power, etc., will be carried out in a conscientious manner and as speedily as possible.
Jakarta, 17th day of August, 45 (note: Japanese calendar year)
In the name of the Indonesian people
Soekarno - Hatta

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indonesian_Declaration_of_Independence

Soekarno proclaimed the independence of Indonesia on 17th August 1945, but it was not recognised by the Dutch. War for independence ensued until 27th December 1949, when Dutch forces fully withdrew. The above was the text for the proclamation of independence read out by Soekarno. Notice that the spelling in the Indonesian text is not the version used today. The "j" is read as "y". "tj" is to be read as "c". "oe" is to be pronounced as "u".

Coincidentally, I sat next to a bunch of Chinese youths and one Caucasian girl speaking fluent Dutch during dinner last night! Their Bahasa was stilted but their Dutch sounded like they had stepped right out of The Netherlands. While Dutch has largely fallen into disuse here in Indonesia, apparently there are still families who sent their children to study in the Netherlands. Some of the older people oso still understand Dutch. One of my aunts grew up in a family who conversed in Dutch. Sprinkles of Dutch terms can still be found in everyday Bahasa, for example, "uncle" is "om", "aunt" is "tante" and "office" is "kantor". There are oso still Dutch influences in cooking, especially the cakes here. I simply love "ontbykoek" (fragrant cinnamon cakes with nuts) and "poffertjes" (ball-shaped pancakes). Who knows, I may just consider taking up Dutch hee :)

// posted by Jenn @ 12:37 PM 1 Comments

A rather activity-filled Sunday. Our shop opened on a Sun for the very 1st time for the launching of a new model of Suzuki motorbike, a part of a directive by the factory. We had arranged for a tent to house the visitors, a band and organised a lucky draw as added attraction besides the free motorbike servicing. Many people turned up; even the ppl from the streets stopped by to watch especially when the emcee organised a mini dangdut (an Indonesian form of disco characterised by a lot of hip movements) competition and suring the lucky draw itself, not a surprising thing because crowds always attract more crowds here in Indonesia. I never develop a liking for dangdut but it was interesting to be in the midst of another culture. As in the case of any large gathering here, we got the police to come in for security.

Had some fun serving the guests and generally making sure everything was in order, especially the lucky draw as I was made partially responsible for it. It felt strange to have the workers look to me for direction for the first time, but I had to take some charge because the folks were busy entertaining business associates. I still have prob expressing myself as clearly in Indonesian as I can in English or Chinese, but at least they could understand me. I oso noticed that ppl here have a certain notion of gender-based and class-based menial work. I never think much of running about myself to get more chairs or clear rubbish, but the ppl here find it strange. The workers would remind me to let the men do it and sometimes the male workers would have this guilt-striken look as they immediately took over from me! Perhaps it is oso becos I'm Chinese and the culture here seems to be that, if you can afford hired help like a maid, you dun lift a finger for menial work. Hmpf...if I do end up marrying an Indonesian Chinese, I will make sure my kid dun rely on the maid so much that he has to have a maid follow him to school to feed him during break time! Why do you think God gave you hands and legs, man...

I dunno if our event attracted too much attention, but three incidents happened at the crossroad junction in front of us today! In the 1st one, a motorbike got crashed by a car and a poor little boy was injured. I forgot wat my Mom told me b4 abt never approaching any scene of road accident becos there will be ppl waiting to steal ur belongings and was crossing the road when the sister of one of our workers held me by the hand and said,"Jennifer, don't go there! Usually there are jambrets (snatch thiefs) at such accidents." Thankfully, the kind nephew of another worker carried the boy across the road to our tent and I cleansed his abrasion wound with mineral water. Told the Dad to bring him to see a doctor becos I suspect hairline fracture of his shoulder, but the Dad kept saying no and moved the boy's hand about to make sure, making him cry. Sigh. Thankfully tho, one of the policemen settled the matter between the drivers before it exploded into a brawl.

Didn't witness the 2nd accident, but nobody was hurt. The 3rd was not an accident. I just suddenly turned to see a man holding a handcuff and was in the process of handcuffing a couple together. The woman made a small scene by screaming and struggling but in the end things were quietened. Turned out that drugs were found on them and the two men arresting them were plainclothed policemen.

Besides that though, the event went on fine. Ko (Indonesian Chinese men are usually addressed as "Ko", derived from Chinese 哥) Baba's wife, from whom we ordered the lunch boxes, is a great cook! She made cookies for us before and they are lip-smackingly good! All remaining lunch boxes were snapped up after the event and those that we cleared away had been polished clean by the guests. We didn't make much sales, probably becos Suzuki is not selling that well in Indonesia at this point in time, but I guess our objective of promotion and networking had been achieved. Not bad at all. And we all learnt a thing or two from this experience.

PS: On the note of accidents etc, one of our workers broke his arm and had to be operated upon when he swerved to avoid knocking down a cat last week. The cat escaped unharmed. Mom said that apparently there is this belief that misfortune will follow you if you knock down cats among the Chinese (not only those in Indo)! Haha...very interesting indeed. Hopefully the worker get well soon.

Was very touched when Cheryl and her husband, my new frens from Sri Lanka, showed concern for that incident last week. She called me to ask how I am on Tue and we had a nice little chat. They are so warm and open in a Christ-like manner! And I love their kids...so mature!

My dear frens' prayers and concern has helped me able to forgive and move on regarding last week's incident. I still feel low whenever something reminds me of it, and I am truly sad because I have indeed made an effort but instead of a bridge, it appears that I have created more rifts. Well, what can I do except pray, move on and continue to love them and grow in Him. Perhaps some day, just some day, the gap will finally be bridged.

Need time alone so made an excuse to stay home today. Re-watched "Emergency Room 24 Hours", one of my favourite Jap dramas.

One underlying theme in Jap dramas is this sense of professionalism in their work. Be serious and responsible in your chosen profession, even in the face of problems, personal or otherwise. I noticed this spirit while in Japan, too. Our tour guide got extremely disappointed whenever we all fell asleep on the bus. He told us that it was his duty to brief us, that his company paid him for it and that he was responsible in reporting what he had done daily. I remember thinking to myself that he could have easily chosen to take it easy; after all he had been in this business for many years, and just not get so hung up as to whether we were awake to hear his never-ending talk. But as my Mom said, both him and the driver took their tasks extremely seriously and never 敷衍 anywhere. Gathering times were kept to the minute, even earlier than we were supposed to.

I admire people who take their jobs seriously. But sometimes I think that we should not be defined by our jobs alone. The people I spoke to in church here feel that one thing that they will never consider working in S'pore because, while it may be a good place to study, it is not a nice place to work in. From my observation, it is indeed true that there appear to be a better work-life balance here in Indonesia than S'pore for most cases.

Of course, individuals to some degree have a part to play in their own work-life balance. Sigh...为什么有些人总是在这方面看不开。。。伤害自己的身体，把气出在别人的身上。

I agree with Uncle Jamie and I can oso never understand why people think that they want an established career before thinking about other things like marriage. I agree that some form of financial stability is necessary before committing to marriage, but this doesn't neccessarily have to equate to establishment with career.

And sometimes Jap dramas depict scenarios whereby the person continued to perform professionally even when they faced crises in their personal lives. For e.g. Matsushima Nanako was applouded when she quietly did her work saving lives when her fiancee was on the verge of dying. On the other hand, ppl were not too happy when this nurse went home to rest and re-charge as well as see her family after working non-stop after the earthquake. While professionally I admire a working attitude like Matsushima's, I dun see why the society must put a pressure on ppl like the nurse either, hard as it is to balance the two viewpoints. What will happen to our loved ones if we persistently put our work above them, in the name of professionalism?

I remember when I was working in the Red Cross FOC. I had a huge responsibility as the Vice-Chairman. My Bro was undergoing a major operation halfway during the camp. It was his 2nd op; I was fully beside him during his 1st. I did what I had to and left the camp for a day to visit my Bro since my Mum was in S'pore this time round so I figured out it would be ok since he would have someone beside him. In the night, the Chairman called me a few times and sourly told me that my god bro was throwing a fit due to some misunderstanding cos he thought I had the right to authorize something. At home, Mom was unhappy and said I din care about my bro. So, on both professional and family fronts, I failed. Or perhaps I should see it another way and say that well, watever ppl said, I have managed to balance both. But I think the most logical thing to conclude from the experience is that it is never easy to choose between work and life and I guess priority should be made on a case-by-case basis, although again this is really subjective.

Sigh....why not make life easy for myself and just find a way to end up as a tai tai hahaha...

我找你找了好久
词：姚若龙 曲：品冠 主唱：光良、品冠 制作：品冠

可以彼此分享得意骄傲 不担忧谁的心里不是味道
可以传染给你心情不好 连说一个理由都不需要
可以直来直去提醒劝告 就算争吵也都是为对方好
可以和你商量秘密苦恼 不害怕全世界都会知道

我找你找了好久 一个互相了解的朋友
生活有人分享的时候 快乐就变得容易许多
我找你找了好久 一个拿心来换的朋友
伤痛有人抱紧的时候 未来有什么路不敢走

"Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." (Psalm 30:5)

"O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted,
Behold, I will lay thy stones with fair colours,
And lay thy foundations with sapphires,
And I will make thy windows of agates,
And thy gates of carbuncles,
And thy borders of pleasant stones." (Isaiah 54:11,12)

Sometimes I wonder how things just happen.

So that was why they wanted me back here: to prevent me from being more fundamentalist than I already am in my faith. Yes, I am melancholic, introverted and I am really fako when it comes to being a follower of Christ; I am just putting up a devout facade for everyone to see. I dun deny it. I dun deny that I am not always true; I am after all just a sinful human saved by grace.

In school, you will inevitably see results when you put in some effort into your studies. This does not always happen in life...

Watched a drama unfold before my eyes (more like ears actually) since yesterday. I am feeling kinda low becos I unwittingly let the wretched clerk feel worse by showing her one of that customer's vulgar SMS directly targeted at her. As if she doesn't have enough probs already. I prayed that God make her feel better somehow. Sometimes I wonder if my brains are actually made of straw??

But hmm. I do marvel at the depth of God's love for mankind. There are some difficult ppl in this world whom literally pass the pain to others. Then there are (possibly worse) ones who act all honey and sweet but behind you, they plunge the dagger in deep. Not that there is anyone who can claim to be perfect. But yeah, as Christians we can try to be channels of His blessings to others.

Apparently, it is very rare here to be the only Christian in the family!

I see girls walking in the streets and commuting etc everyday, so why am I a spectacle when I only walked that short distance?? Sigh... I do miss that freedom to walk the streets alone. Or simply to have my own space for that matter. And I miss doing "young" things and being with people my age. But on the other hand... I also hope to be fair to the folks. How can I ever balance the two? One can never have it all in this pilgrimage called life, I suppose.