Monday, January 23, 2006
A Note to Myself
Saya ingin menjadi seorang wanita yang lebih besar hati. Tapi tidak dapat. Sesungguhnya, saya dengki dengan dia. Kau bilang padaku, hal itu telah lama berlalu. Tapi...
So, I have taken the big plunge. I know it is the right decision, but as the events of the past year shows, the right decisions are not always the easiest to live with. So much worry. So much uncertainty. Although I found out that I had just escaped something potentially bad, I still feel lost. Sometimes I wish I am more gungho and not be so affected by some things.
But while praying and writing my diary I have decided to be strong, with His grace. I shall do what I must to the best of my ability, so that even if people still choose to nitpick, I shall at least be able to hold my head up high. I shall endevour to improve myself with new skills and experiences. I shall not give in to despair.
It is gonna be a very hectic month. I have always loved Chinese New Year, but somehow I had to drag myself to get my hair cut and dun even feel much like thinking about what to wear etc on the first day. Was supposed to go Hong Kong with my parents, but in the end chose to stay in case of emergency.
On a positive note, saw the first blossom of my favourite flower blooming this morning. The reason why I love Chinese New Year is because it is the only time when I can see it. haha. Anyone care to try to guess what it is?
So, I have taken the big plunge. I know it is the right decision, but as the events of the past year shows, the right decisions are not always the easiest to live with. So much worry. So much uncertainty. Although I found out that I had just escaped something potentially bad, I still feel lost. Sometimes I wish I am more gungho and not be so affected by some things.
But while praying and writing my diary I have decided to be strong, with His grace. I shall do what I must to the best of my ability, so that even if people still choose to nitpick, I shall at least be able to hold my head up high. I shall endevour to improve myself with new skills and experiences. I shall not give in to despair.
It is gonna be a very hectic month. I have always loved Chinese New Year, but somehow I had to drag myself to get my hair cut and dun even feel much like thinking about what to wear etc on the first day. Was supposed to go Hong Kong with my parents, but in the end chose to stay in case of emergency.
On a positive note, saw the first blossom of my favourite flower blooming this morning. The reason why I love Chinese New Year is because it is the only time when I can see it. haha. Anyone care to try to guess what it is?
// posted by Jenn @ 6:05 PM 
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