Monday, February 20, 2006
An Anchor
Mom is all alone in Jakarta this week cos Dad has left for Adelaide with Bro. Must call her up everyday to chat and check on her. Not very safe to be a lone lady there, who doesn't know how to drive.
Things don't seem to be going well for me in a lot of areas in my life. As my last day in office draws near, I am beginning to feel more and more lost, ironically. People tell me it's natural and some of my frens do empathise, having been in the same boat. But it's hard to fight the emotions of worry.
Wanna thank Dr. Keck for writing me an encouraging email after I told him abt JET rejecting me. Felt terribly touched. Will go back visit the profs soon.
Work is not the only worry at this point in time. Just found out that STA is no longer organising working holidays due to the many changes in policies after the many incidents happening around the world at this point. They gave me the address of another organisation that may also organise the same thing, and I'll go try there this week. See how it goes.
An ironical thing that happened was that I received a letter calling me for a 2nd interview! My jaw nearly dropped becos I had thot that one was a goner. Not only did I not really desire the job, I am not cut out for it and besides I think I was smoking away during the interview and I suppose they must have been smart enough to notice that. But they actually wanna ask me for a 2nd round of interview! Hmm. Still deciding if I wanna attend.
Health is another issue. I am drawing up a plan to chart out a change to my diet, long term. I dun think I'm exactly aging, but I am beginning to recognise the need to change long-term patterns of behaviour that may be detrimental to my health due to something that was revealed to me in the recent month. It's affecting me quite a lot. But someone reminded me that God is not so cruel as to design us in such a way that we can't control this, although my feelings may tell me otherwise. So I am determined to believe that and work to change things with His power.
I am grateful for the presence of God in my life, without which this period will have been a harder one to endure. During quiet time yesterday, was thinking about how He is like an anchor amidst the swirling ocean that is my life, the only source of certainty and comfort. Not that it is easy to sense this all the time. But it's there nevertheless.
I will not sugar-coat the Christian walk by saying that it is a bed of roses, becos often it really isn't. And it also doesn't make sense all the time. I think none of us humans can see things with an eternal perpective, or even long-term, for that matter, much as we hate to admit that. But Oswald Chambers reminded us that only by obeying will it all come into perpective, in the spiritual sense. Hmm. I am still learning to grasp that. Indeed, it is impossible to understand our relationship with Christ by intellect.
Oso wanna thank all my frens whom God put with me in this journey, esp all the fellow "walking woundeds", all of us recent grads in our twenties struggling in our transition from studying to working life. I was amazed to see that almost all of us share this bond of being part of the quarter-life crisis and in a sense that is very comforting becos we can all share the lessons learnt. I am supposed to be part of this young working adult gathering thingie in VCF, but due to time clashes between that and my church, I have been missing some sessions.
Just a quote to ponder:
(Song of Songs 7: 6-7)
Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy as unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.
Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot wash it away.
If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love,
it would be utterly scorned.
Things don't seem to be going well for me in a lot of areas in my life. As my last day in office draws near, I am beginning to feel more and more lost, ironically. People tell me it's natural and some of my frens do empathise, having been in the same boat. But it's hard to fight the emotions of worry.
Wanna thank Dr. Keck for writing me an encouraging email after I told him abt JET rejecting me. Felt terribly touched. Will go back visit the profs soon.
Work is not the only worry at this point in time. Just found out that STA is no longer organising working holidays due to the many changes in policies after the many incidents happening around the world at this point. They gave me the address of another organisation that may also organise the same thing, and I'll go try there this week. See how it goes.
An ironical thing that happened was that I received a letter calling me for a 2nd interview! My jaw nearly dropped becos I had thot that one was a goner. Not only did I not really desire the job, I am not cut out for it and besides I think I was smoking away during the interview and I suppose they must have been smart enough to notice that. But they actually wanna ask me for a 2nd round of interview! Hmm. Still deciding if I wanna attend.
Health is another issue. I am drawing up a plan to chart out a change to my diet, long term. I dun think I'm exactly aging, but I am beginning to recognise the need to change long-term patterns of behaviour that may be detrimental to my health due to something that was revealed to me in the recent month. It's affecting me quite a lot. But someone reminded me that God is not so cruel as to design us in such a way that we can't control this, although my feelings may tell me otherwise. So I am determined to believe that and work to change things with His power.
I am grateful for the presence of God in my life, without which this period will have been a harder one to endure. During quiet time yesterday, was thinking about how He is like an anchor amidst the swirling ocean that is my life, the only source of certainty and comfort. Not that it is easy to sense this all the time. But it's there nevertheless.
I will not sugar-coat the Christian walk by saying that it is a bed of roses, becos often it really isn't. And it also doesn't make sense all the time. I think none of us humans can see things with an eternal perpective, or even long-term, for that matter, much as we hate to admit that. But Oswald Chambers reminded us that only by obeying will it all come into perpective, in the spiritual sense. Hmm. I am still learning to grasp that. Indeed, it is impossible to understand our relationship with Christ by intellect.
Oso wanna thank all my frens whom God put with me in this journey, esp all the fellow "walking woundeds", all of us recent grads in our twenties struggling in our transition from studying to working life. I was amazed to see that almost all of us share this bond of being part of the quarter-life crisis and in a sense that is very comforting becos we can all share the lessons learnt. I am supposed to be part of this young working adult gathering thingie in VCF, but due to time clashes between that and my church, I have been missing some sessions.
Just a quote to ponder:
(Song of Songs 7: 6-7)
Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy as unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.
Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot wash it away.
If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love,
it would be utterly scorned.
// posted by Jenn @ 12:23 PM 
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