The Opera Populaire

Had a lot of fun singing ktv with my colleagues last night. It was a good mix of oldies and new songs. They really spoiled the feeling of some of my favourite songs by saying that they were very apt for a certain individual to sing to us!!!! Aiyoh! Tsk tsk! I'll neva see those songs with the same eye again.

But it was oso very touching becos of some songs we chose. They tried to find "Bengawan Solo" to dedicate to me, cos it's the only Malay song everyone knows, but cutely, they chose the wrong song! It was very sad at the end when we all sang Emil Chau's "Peng You" becos it was really heartfelt. Although we know one another for such a short time, we all felt a sense of loss at the parting. Really treasure it becos I am aware that it is difficult to make true frens once you are out of school. Here, I had found some really good frens. Do hope we keep in touch.

Hit by another bout of disappointment yesterday. The other travel agency limits their working holiday plan for students only. I was so disappointed that only after singing ktv could I feel better. Asked God why did He close so many doors to me ever since after I graduate. Today someone told me something abt expectation management. Found it a bit hard to swallow, but after pondering over it, I am forced to admit she is right. It's again the question of His will versus mine. Audrey said some time ago that at times we presuppose God, instead of really putting that child-like trust in Him. I thought that I had learnt the lesson of surrender long ago, but it seems that the challenges grow deeper as we learn more about Him.

I was meditating about how I have changed since I travelled to Australia 2 years ago. Sometimes, people may not be able to visibly perceive some changes within us, but when you actually do the exercise of comparing now and then, the revelation may amaze you. I am so hao lian; I always think I have matured a lot at any given point in time. But the truth is that, it is a never-ending experience. Think Stormie Omartian wrote something about it is not the end till He says it is. So, effectively, our learning only end the day we die. Pretty amazing when I think of it.

So, given the above premise, loving another must involve moulding your care to fit the person according to what he/she needs as he/she changes over time. Someone once hurt me terribly when he said,"You should have known me by then! But you still did it." I ended up blaming myself for a long time. It took me a long time to heal from the hurts that arose from that relationship. But it had taught me many lessons and even today, in retrospective, I keep seeing things from new angles about that. In any relationship, the couple needs to learn to grow together. It can be scary becos it can be difficult to find someone who can grow with you and your idiosyncrasies. Hmm.