The Opera Populaire

Been disappointed by some things lately. Just checked my email and found out that I have not been even selected for interview for the JET programme, which would have required me to go to Japan to teach EL for a year. Although I had prayed abt it and let God decide if He is willing to open the door to this way, I am still processing this disappointment.

I suppose if He is indeed my Lord, I must let Him handle the steering wheel. It's not the easiest thing to do. I found that, for the past year, I have been asked to lay a lot of things I really want down at His feet. The decisions often made me perplexed at best, or sad at worst. Coupled with a certain condition I am having, the sense of struggle is multiplied, even though to an average person, it may nt seem serious. I guess God deals with each person in proportion to what he/ she can take at each point in life and probably in a sense, I am weaker than most people. As in I have led a sheltered life and my threshold for certain things r low compared to many ppl.

Indeed, I find that things tend not to be so easy when I make decisions without consulting the Lord. Not to say that living out the decisions you made to honour Him is smooth sailing, but somehow, His grace sustains. While sometimes the future still seems uncertain, there is certainty in the midst of the uncertainty. Ok, that sounds ironic, but most Christians shd understand.

Coming back to the rejection, it's good that God prompted me not to put all my eggs in one basket. So in a sense, being rejected by JET is not like the end of the world and back to the drawing board kinda thing, disappointing as it is. Have been praying abt other doors as well.

Disappointment with the ppl around you is a more tricky thing. Sometimes you need a certain sort of support from individuals and the person just dun react in that way you need. Be it just the wrong timing or worse yet, irreconcilable character differences, the disappointment is there all the same.

Guess God uses these providential circumstances to show me that, at the end of the day, our primary reliance shd be upon Him. He is the same yesterday, today and in the future. He is there for us 24 to 7 and He is never too tired or busy for us. He understands us and loves us. At times when I choose to seek Him, I find myself being enveloped in His warm and comforting presence. I oso can draw from His never-dry spring of love and be able to continue to forgive and love and care for the individuals who have hurt me, imperfect as my humanly love is.

Yeah, ever since I come to know Him, although disappointments still never cease to come my way, I find myself more able to let go and let God. While I can't say that a lot of things' beauty pale in comparison with eternity, I fully agree with Jim Elliot's words," He is no fool who gave what he could not keep and gained what he could not lose." (note: quoted from hazy memory, may not be reliable)

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. A plan to prosper you and not to harm you. A plan to give you a hope and a future."