Tuesday, June 20, 2006
关于爱情的杂想
春が来いた has been the theme song for many of my friends lately. Some has managed to move on from their previous walking wounded state to find new love and others have decided to move from the dating phase to a marriage.
But, was reading blogs this morning when I came across a particularly sad entry of one of my frens who recently broke up. Gal (I hope you know who you are ;), you have my sympathies as someone who had once gone through the very same pain. I pray that you continue to lean on God during this difficult time. Though I must say that till today, the pain inflicted by my past relationship continues to bother me from time to time, I hope you learn and grow spiritually from this experience.
She is not the only one. I feel bad being absorbed in my own issues and not giving enough concern to my other frens who may need any sort of pick-me-up that I should have otherwise offered. Hope you are all coping...
It is very hurting when you get used to someone in your life, give portions of your feelings and time and want things to work out, but for some reason or another, things just dun. Some frens have been telling me their worries about not being able to love someone else as deeply next time. Sigh. A very sad, but hard reality. I think that only by being able to allow God to heal that hurt can you truly be set free from that baggage in the past. In a sense, it's as much about forgiveness as well as expectation management. You may never find another person like that one who had left. This may be good rather than bad in some cases, hard as it may be to see it that way in the midst of all that hurt and pain. Cliched as it may sound, I do see a lot of cases where ppl meet more suitable partners later on. It is important to first heal, then manage expectations and be ready for that someone.
Moving on is never easy. I salute ppl who are still frens with those who once meant a lot to them, but sometimes I dun think it's the wisest course of action to take. In some cases, certain probs remain and by maintaining contact, you open yourself to the danger of being wounded for longer than it should have been. Cruel as it may sound, I think we should not depend too much on our emotions in handling matters of the heart, but learn to "love smart" and understand, with time and experience, where the possible pitfalls may be and avoid them. This is different from building fences around your heart and not daring to love someone else as much as the other!
I think that love is also a matter of timing. A very true quote from Chinese actress 周迅 (读者文摘, 2006 年 2 月) :"两个人再不合适的时间碰到不行，在合适的时间碰到但不同路也不行；必须天行，地利，人和，碰到了，在一起了， 才可一起一辈子。“ 笔者在这里有关此事的逆耳忠言想说，但最后还是决定不提了。
Heh, din actually wanna blog (have been having thots abt closing down my blog lately) but still blogged such a lot!
But, was reading blogs this morning when I came across a particularly sad entry of one of my frens who recently broke up. Gal (I hope you know who you are ;), you have my sympathies as someone who had once gone through the very same pain. I pray that you continue to lean on God during this difficult time. Though I must say that till today, the pain inflicted by my past relationship continues to bother me from time to time, I hope you learn and grow spiritually from this experience.
She is not the only one. I feel bad being absorbed in my own issues and not giving enough concern to my other frens who may need any sort of pick-me-up that I should have otherwise offered. Hope you are all coping...
It is very hurting when you get used to someone in your life, give portions of your feelings and time and want things to work out, but for some reason or another, things just dun. Some frens have been telling me their worries about not being able to love someone else as deeply next time. Sigh. A very sad, but hard reality. I think that only by being able to allow God to heal that hurt can you truly be set free from that baggage in the past. In a sense, it's as much about forgiveness as well as expectation management. You may never find another person like that one who had left. This may be good rather than bad in some cases, hard as it may be to see it that way in the midst of all that hurt and pain. Cliched as it may sound, I do see a lot of cases where ppl meet more suitable partners later on. It is important to first heal, then manage expectations and be ready for that someone.
Moving on is never easy. I salute ppl who are still frens with those who once meant a lot to them, but sometimes I dun think it's the wisest course of action to take. In some cases, certain probs remain and by maintaining contact, you open yourself to the danger of being wounded for longer than it should have been. Cruel as it may sound, I think we should not depend too much on our emotions in handling matters of the heart, but learn to "love smart" and understand, with time and experience, where the possible pitfalls may be and avoid them. This is different from building fences around your heart and not daring to love someone else as much as the other!
I think that love is also a matter of timing. A very true quote from Chinese actress 周迅 (读者文摘, 2006 年 2 月) :"两个人再不合适的时间碰到不行，在合适的时间碰到但不同路也不行；必须天行，地利，人和，碰到了，在一起了， 才可一起一辈子。“ 笔者在这里有关此事的逆耳忠言想说，但最后还是决定不提了。
Heh, din actually wanna blog (have been having thots abt closing down my blog lately) but still blogged such a lot!
// posted by Jenn @ 5:07 PM 
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