The Opera Populaire

Just had a disagreement with my fren, which is leaving me still feeling unhappy despite the fact that he had apologised for his harsh tone and words. I had also apologised for my lost of temper and curtness. Just dislike the feeling of quarrelling with anyone...it leaves me rather absent-minded and my whole body feels weighed down by the poison of sadness.

I know he meant well, but there are just some things I am pretty sensitive about these days. As some of my closer frens know, I am currently at a crossroad in life and I dun share my struggles easily with ordinary frens. We are not close, but I know he is a caring guy and he has shown concern for me as a fren in the past year. I appreciate the fact that he cares for me enough to bug me to find a job asap, even say harsh stuff for my own good. But I got pretty miffed and spoke curtly at a point becos he doesn't know the full picture and thinks of me as a xiao jie who only wanna have fun while others like him are struggling to support his family.

Perhaps he is right. I can afford to do what I want becos I dun have a debt on my shoulder, all my needs are taken care of etc. But all the same, I dun see anything wrong with having some idealism... with having that dream to find something really suitable for you. And about that job we were talking about, I did find out more about and to my dismay, I found out I couldn't qualify due to my medical condition and eyesight. Why won't you believe that I did make an effort to search?

Well, I dun need everyone to understand. As a matter of fact, those who do are few and far in between and I love and appreciate those individuals who care and encourage me on in their own little ways. I know that those who say harsh stuff means well, too. But it is pretty hard to be patient and accepting when you are already feeling low for most time.

But well...I am glad things are settled now and that I haven't lost a fren of 4 years.