Friday, May 18, 2012
Been Thinking about….Compassion
Oops I think Blogger just switched entirely to Google. I'm taking time to navigate and feel my way around this new layout.
Anyway:
Compassion means taking out that fullness that would otherwise be filled with “me-ness” inside you and filling it with actions for the betterment of others.
Compassion means forgetting briefly the cares and anger that you are going through and giving someone else the love and attention, deserved or not. Waiter or superior matters not.
Compassion means not depriving someone else of the companionship he could not get elsewhere.
Does compassion also mean telling someone the hard truth about why people react in a certain way towards him?
Does compassion mean forgetting past hurts and learning to trust again? I’m apt to think the two may be mutually exclusive, but I think I may have made a philosophical error somewhere heh.
Labels: Random
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Happy 2012!
Happy 2012 to all who still read this blog (which I am assuming are: Me, Myself and I)!
Like some people I know, I am wary of the entire tradition of making New Year resolution. However, in the past 2 years, I have found them useful principles upon which to lead my life and have actually made conscious efforts in adhering to them. Therefore, I am making more principles (don't wanna call them resolutions!) for 2012:
1) Shop and buy far less fashion-related stuff. I have finally reached a point when I am happy with what I have. Having less means that mixing and matching becomes a necessity, with sometimes breathtaking results that can perhaps be called, ahem, personal style. This also means no to the "Buy It Now" button, unless I absolutely need the item, cannot find it here, no possibility of getting it unless I am willing to camp overnight in some foreign country, is crazily expensive to buy here and fill that intense, inexplicable desire within me.
2) Find a new job. Yes, despite this slow economy *sigh* It has come to this. But God's will pervails. That is another long story.
3) Give more time to the people I care about in my life: Hubs, family, friends. People seem fundamentally lonely and empty in this age, it seems. Would love to help in any way I can. Oh, I'm so excited to be a jie-mei for Audrey's wedding! For the 1st time! A bridesmaid for a dear friend! *gush gush* I'm so stoked!
4) Save up for that epic trip. More details when it comes. Woohooo!
5) Okay, I know this shouldn't have been last, but I really wanna learn the lesson of surrender to God's will well. It hasn't been an easy few years for me, and consequently for Hubs as well. I don't know how to explain the details of something so private over a public domain, but yup, for now, that is that.
Happy Lunar New Year in advance too!!! Huat lah!!!!
Like some people I know, I am wary of the entire tradition of making New Year resolution. However, in the past 2 years, I have found them useful principles upon which to lead my life and have actually made conscious efforts in adhering to them. Therefore, I am making more principles (don't wanna call them resolutions!) for 2012:
1) Shop and buy far less fashion-related stuff. I have finally reached a point when I am happy with what I have. Having less means that mixing and matching becomes a necessity, with sometimes breathtaking results that can perhaps be called, ahem, personal style. This also means no to the "Buy It Now" button, unless I absolutely need the item, cannot find it here, no possibility of getting it unless I am willing to camp overnight in some foreign country, is crazily expensive to buy here and fill that intense, inexplicable desire within me.
2) Find a new job. Yes, despite this slow economy *sigh* It has come to this. But God's will pervails. That is another long story.
3) Give more time to the people I care about in my life: Hubs, family, friends. People seem fundamentally lonely and empty in this age, it seems. Would love to help in any way I can. Oh, I'm so excited to be a jie-mei for Audrey's wedding! For the 1st time! A bridesmaid for a dear friend! *gush gush* I'm so stoked!
4) Save up for that epic trip. More details when it comes. Woohooo!
5) Okay, I know this shouldn't have been last, but I really wanna learn the lesson of surrender to God's will well. It hasn't been an easy few years for me, and consequently for Hubs as well. I don't know how to explain the details of something so private over a public domain, but yup, for now, that is that.
Happy Lunar New Year in advance too!!! Huat lah!!!!
Labels: Rambles, Random, Saya Affairs
Wednesday, December 07, 2011
Some Thoughts Post-Marriage
Some thoughts post-marriage:
1) It is harder to get away by acting cute.
Forget the occasional recourse to bimboism. That ring on your third left finger actually attracts more attention that whatever those desperate eyelash-batting for help. I have learnt that it is now more important to let your intelligence and bearing show through; something that will never fail to carry you through life and be respected by everybody you meet.
2) You dress differently.
Unmarried girls tend to dress for attention, not necessarily in the bad sense of the word. I used to dress in a “cuter” and sometimes “sexier” manner pre-marriage. These days, I prefer quality over quantity (although still working very hard on that!) and cuts that are more forgiving towards figural deficiencies. I had also thrown out or sold overtly bold accessories I used to favour in the past, keeping understated pieces I actually wear and which will see me over the next decade if possible. I am also leaning towards more boyish pieces, which describes my personality better than overtly feminine style. Of course, I am never the Herve Leger bandage dress and Louboutin heels- style type, but I don’t think I can do “kawaii” ever again. Or maybe because I am growing old. Haha.
3) You feel more confident about yourself, or are on the way to being so.
This is reflected in the dressing and the way you carry yourself, as noted above.
4) You learn new (survival) skills
I was told I was hopeless in the kitchen, but I’m proud to say: “not anymore!” Although I’m far from being a domestic goddess ala Martha Steward, I can at least manage my stove and oven now. If you have parents who don’t mind loaning you their maids or can afford to pay for part-time cleaner, good for you. But in view that this is not always possible, housekeeping skills are absolutely essential.
1) It is harder to get away by acting cute.
Forget the occasional recourse to bimboism. That ring on your third left finger actually attracts more attention that whatever those desperate eyelash-batting for help. I have learnt that it is now more important to let your intelligence and bearing show through; something that will never fail to carry you through life and be respected by everybody you meet.
2) You dress differently.
Unmarried girls tend to dress for attention, not necessarily in the bad sense of the word. I used to dress in a “cuter” and sometimes “sexier” manner pre-marriage. These days, I prefer quality over quantity (although still working very hard on that!) and cuts that are more forgiving towards figural deficiencies. I had also thrown out or sold overtly bold accessories I used to favour in the past, keeping understated pieces I actually wear and which will see me over the next decade if possible. I am also leaning towards more boyish pieces, which describes my personality better than overtly feminine style. Of course, I am never the Herve Leger bandage dress and Louboutin heels- style type, but I don’t think I can do “kawaii” ever again. Or maybe because I am growing old. Haha.
3) You feel more confident about yourself, or are on the way to being so.
This is reflected in the dressing and the way you carry yourself, as noted above.
4) You learn new (survival) skills
I was told I was hopeless in the kitchen, but I’m proud to say: “not anymore!” Although I’m far from being a domestic goddess ala Martha Steward, I can at least manage my stove and oven now. If you have parents who don’t mind loaning you their maids or can afford to pay for part-time cleaner, good for you. But in view that this is not always possible, housekeeping skills are absolutely essential.
Labels: Random
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Book I'm reading now
(Source:MBRAS.org)
I just borrowed this. Perhaps to try to savor that last bit of "freedom" of: access to one of the best libraries in SEA, relatively better working hours. Perhaps out of that desire to find out my destiny as I near the end of my contract. Trying to remember Prof. Ileto's "scholar-activism." Can there be such a thing here, in this tiny red dot? More than a month after the most exciting GE that I could ever remember, news show that the spirit of change seems non-existent. $880,000 for a HDB flat in a remote location. Price hastily reduced after public uproar. Playing about with words and terms. King Solomon got it so right when he said there is nothing new under the sun.
Labels: Random
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Wedding and shoes
Another one in the squad gone to the altar! I was so touched by the love shown by friends and families shown during Jing's wedding on Sun. Although programmes and everything else was not exactly perfect...a few times the audio failed to play to cue and the emcees had to stall for time...I think it was amazing how the couple cared less about perfection in schedule than catering for the people they cared about during the dinner. They had the longest thank you speech I had ever encountered in a wedding dinner, thanking almost everyone they knew. And I love the fact that people love them so much as to prepare surprises for them; a mutual fren who could not make it to the dinner made a video to be screened during the dinner. Wish DH and my wedding had been that touching! But we r both task-based robots *LOL* I suspect our photographer did not find us good subjects haha. But never mind...I always think what's impt about weddings is that they r over! And the marriage can finally begin.
Anyhow, I feel very satisfied with some of my fashion "investments", some of which I wore for the wedding. The one which got the most compliment: my wedding shoes!! Not many people could see my wedding shoes as my gown had covered them. But the heels are the prettiest part...as you can see from the picts, they are sewn with bling-blings (I don't know what they are called!). They are too "bride-y" so I had them dyed black after the wedding. The sweet lady from Bagspa even rushed it for me, so it came in time for Jing's wedding. I think it's a terrific idea and I can see myself wearing it for many a future events...it's so hot and easily matched!
I'm thinking of exchanging/ coloring every accesory that I seldom wear to black; just wondering if it will encourage me to wear them more often. I hate stuff cluttering up my space and love the idea of buying things to use than keep for special occasions these days. Feeling the success of my wedding shoes and black reissue, I'm thinking of extending it to my other stuff as well. Like this pair of uber comfy Lea Foscatti shoes I'm wearing now. Easily the most comfy shoes I have, but I don't wear it as often I would have loved to because it is red in color. I think red is the color that suits me least. Some well-meaning relatives had told me to wear more colors, but I'm really a neutral-color person. Red, pinks and some bright shades like orange makes me look totally off. Anyway, isn't it like those Parisian women to stick to only fail-safe colors? LOL.
Labels: Random
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Mover Schmover
I never realised moving house is so problematic until I met with movers. Today marked the 2nd time I faced problems dealing with them. Now my family runs a business and I can understand that movers have problems keeping to time because of the nature of their job: delays, traffic, etc, etc. But it is terribly annoying to keep being made to wait and then told at the last minute that they were unable to make it on time, can they deliver, like 6-7 hours later than scheduled?? This is more so when we are not staying at the said place and had to make special trips down, just to wait! And it is even more difficult when we have to study and work...meaning we ourselves have precious little time to waste waiting!
If they fail to deliver my furniture by the said time tomorrow, I will just leave for my appointment. Period.
One more paper. Done forever? Yes, never again. Academia drives you nuts.
If they fail to deliver my furniture by the said time tomorrow, I will just leave for my appointment. Period.
One more paper. Done forever? Yes, never again. Academia drives you nuts.
Labels: Rambles, Random, Saya Affairs
Monday, April 19, 2010
My Current Dream *Sigh*
Nice and Bloody children, Freshly Squeezed from the Oven
I know I'm supposed to study for exams, but the my Mac is proving too much of a distraction at home, so I decided to go out to study. Alas, the venture faced with much hurdles so I ended back home in about 2 hours.
It looks like many people are getting married. Or, more aptly, many more are having children. I'm not sure why people have been asking Mister and I about children. I mean, we are not even married yet?? Babies are definitely not on our list right now. We are barely even spending enough time together for the past one year, with our respective crazy schedules coupled with wedding preparations and house renovation. Anyhow, I think not going overseas together as a couple has its merits. Somehow the delayed anticipation makes you look forward to marriage life more effectively.
Going back to the issue of children, I have never been a kid person. I had even been told that my voice is too booming and would thus scare children during a job interview. The last I saw, that company (which incidentally aims to churn out whiz kids for families with money to burn) was still looking to hire people for that position I applied for. All I can say is, good luck. Anyway I only like looking at kids in the same way as you would look at a soft toy: cute, perhaps huggable, but you wouldn't want to interact with it the same way you do your peers. Somehow, in my mind, I have this nagging suspicion that they are sub-humans; you can talk to them, but you need to go a bit below your intellectual and other capacities to do so. Sounds harsh? Yes, I admit it. I am heartless when it comes to children. So do not ask me about having children.
I saw a friend's profile on FB, which gave me a huge shock. This gal, while never good-looking by most standards, did have an okay share of suitors back in our undergrad days. Then, she and an older acquaintance of mine fell madly for each other and as they said, the rest is history. I found out that she recently gave birth to their 2nd boy and was thoroughly taken aback by her appearance. It was bad enough after her 1st boy. To put it simply, she now looks no different from the heartland aunties you see roaming about S'pore. Fat, swollen by the water retention and seemingly moving about in the auntie manner. And she is younger than me by a number of years! And her husband...let's just say that, although he had never been a hunk, he looks positively sad now.
Now I know that pregnancy causes water retention and that mothers sacrifice a lot etc, etc. But Mister and I simply find the entire parenting process, from its conception to erm...maturity?? frightening. The frightening standards of living, the horror of juggling career and motherhood. I really cannot conceive of this. This is not to say that I will not have a tod one day. I'm just saying that, I am not one of those who view marriage as needing to result in progeny. I'm perfectly happy having a dog or for Mister to have his dream rabbit to see us through the rest of our days. But that is a question for another day.
It looks like many people are getting married. Or, more aptly, many more are having children. I'm not sure why people have been asking Mister and I about children. I mean, we are not even married yet?? Babies are definitely not on our list right now. We are barely even spending enough time together for the past one year, with our respective crazy schedules coupled with wedding preparations and house renovation. Anyhow, I think not going overseas together as a couple has its merits. Somehow the delayed anticipation makes you look forward to marriage life more effectively.
Going back to the issue of children, I have never been a kid person. I had even been told that my voice is too booming and would thus scare children during a job interview. The last I saw, that company (which incidentally aims to churn out whiz kids for families with money to burn) was still looking to hire people for that position I applied for. All I can say is, good luck. Anyway I only like looking at kids in the same way as you would look at a soft toy: cute, perhaps huggable, but you wouldn't want to interact with it the same way you do your peers. Somehow, in my mind, I have this nagging suspicion that they are sub-humans; you can talk to them, but you need to go a bit below your intellectual and other capacities to do so. Sounds harsh? Yes, I admit it. I am heartless when it comes to children. So do not ask me about having children.
I saw a friend's profile on FB, which gave me a huge shock. This gal, while never good-looking by most standards, did have an okay share of suitors back in our undergrad days. Then, she and an older acquaintance of mine fell madly for each other and as they said, the rest is history. I found out that she recently gave birth to their 2nd boy and was thoroughly taken aback by her appearance. It was bad enough after her 1st boy. To put it simply, she now looks no different from the heartland aunties you see roaming about S'pore. Fat, swollen by the water retention and seemingly moving about in the auntie manner. And she is younger than me by a number of years! And her husband...let's just say that, although he had never been a hunk, he looks positively sad now.
Now I know that pregnancy causes water retention and that mothers sacrifice a lot etc, etc. But Mister and I simply find the entire parenting process, from its conception to erm...maturity?? frightening. The frightening standards of living, the horror of juggling career and motherhood. I really cannot conceive of this. This is not to say that I will not have a tod one day. I'm just saying that, I am not one of those who view marriage as needing to result in progeny. I'm perfectly happy having a dog or for Mister to have his dream rabbit to see us through the rest of our days. But that is a question for another day.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Goodbye, NUS
Friday marked the last day of evening lessons at NUS. Time certainly flew by; it's been nearly a year and my time as a student had once again ended. We took plenty of pics with the 2 profs...all on FB. As I drove home in the drizzle, a wave of nostalgia swept over me.
I had hated evening lessons and that heavy feeling of needing to revise during free time, as well as finish your assignments. I thoroughly disliked not earning a salary when I needed money to pay for so many things in the course of planning for wedding and renovating my new house. God took care of them all. I'm grateful for my scholarship, although I've decided not to serve the bond after weighing the costs. My hostility towards the gahment has increased a lot since my last job and it has not been lightened by the study. I hope not to be involved in a place that served the state so directly. And, not to forget, my health also suffered badly in the course of all these activities.
And all this is coming to an end. I'm feeling this syndrome, which I forgot the name of...the one where you actually weep for your kidnapper?? LOL I know this sounds really extreme, but that's what I've been feeling.
I will miss the intellectual satisfaction of being a student, despite not having enough time to properly digest all that I had learned. I'll miss NUS food! It's cheap and good here. NTU is seriously sad. I'll miss the centrality of the place, despite the difficulty of getting home in the evenings. Will miss the profs and classmates.
I had hated evening lessons and that heavy feeling of needing to revise during free time, as well as finish your assignments. I thoroughly disliked not earning a salary when I needed money to pay for so many things in the course of planning for wedding and renovating my new house. God took care of them all. I'm grateful for my scholarship, although I've decided not to serve the bond after weighing the costs. My hostility towards the gahment has increased a lot since my last job and it has not been lightened by the study. I hope not to be involved in a place that served the state so directly. And, not to forget, my health also suffered badly in the course of all these activities.
And all this is coming to an end. I'm feeling this syndrome, which I forgot the name of...the one where you actually weep for your kidnapper?? LOL I know this sounds really extreme, but that's what I've been feeling.
I will miss the intellectual satisfaction of being a student, despite not having enough time to properly digest all that I had learned. I'll miss NUS food! It's cheap and good here. NTU is seriously sad. I'll miss the centrality of the place, despite the difficulty of getting home in the evenings. Will miss the profs and classmates.
Labels: Rambles, Random, Saya Affairs
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
Kiasu and Strange S'poreans
Been feeling very tired these few days. Which is very strange, because, biologically, this is not supposed to happen. Oh well...
Anyway, I realised that S'poreans are very, very kiasu. Being classmates with some made me realise that some ppl I thot I knew r indeed super kiasu abt grades! And doing grp project with *ehem* mature ladies are a a bit of a pain at times. Why are S'poreans so afraid to take the jump? Why do they have to question until they know everything before they start?? And why are they so damned anal and lack creativity?? Gosh...
I don't mean to rail against those staying in HDB flats, but my neighbour is strange. Very strange. The 1st time I saw him, I was walking towards my flat and he just stood and stared until I went in. Creepy. Last week, Mister and I were waiting for a delivery when I noticed Mr. Creepy next door going in and out repeatedly from his house. Then, at one point, he stood, leaned back a little and peered into our house! After that, I just lost any interest in initiating smile at him.
Then there was this strange guy who came to our door and pointed to our iron gate, saying that we need to do something about it; there had been many cases of break-ins through the hinge side of iron gates. He pulled out some iron bolts which appeared no different from what we already had and said he can replace them, for $79 fee! We refused and I asked him to leave his contact number. He refused, saying that it must be done now. I asked again and he walked away, saying maybe another time. I think I must exercise lotsa caution after moving in. HDBs are full of creepy people.
Anyway, I realised that S'poreans are very, very kiasu. Being classmates with some made me realise that some ppl I thot I knew r indeed super kiasu abt grades! And doing grp project with *ehem* mature ladies are a a bit of a pain at times. Why are S'poreans so afraid to take the jump? Why do they have to question until they know everything before they start?? And why are they so damned anal and lack creativity?? Gosh...
I don't mean to rail against those staying in HDB flats, but my neighbour is strange. Very strange. The 1st time I saw him, I was walking towards my flat and he just stood and stared until I went in. Creepy. Last week, Mister and I were waiting for a delivery when I noticed Mr. Creepy next door going in and out repeatedly from his house. Then, at one point, he stood, leaned back a little and peered into our house! After that, I just lost any interest in initiating smile at him.
Then there was this strange guy who came to our door and pointed to our iron gate, saying that we need to do something about it; there had been many cases of break-ins through the hinge side of iron gates. He pulled out some iron bolts which appeared no different from what we already had and said he can replace them, for $79 fee! We refused and I asked him to leave his contact number. He refused, saying that it must be done now. I asked again and he walked away, saying maybe another time. I think I must exercise lotsa caution after moving in. HDBs are full of creepy people.
Labels: Rambles, Random, Se-lat-por Affairs
Sunday, April 04, 2010
Too Many Cooks...
The worst thing about planning for a wedding is that, almost everybody wants to have a say or two in many affairs. I think this is especially so in Chinese families.
One of the most common grouses among young Chinese is the fact that they are pressured by their families to hold banquets when all they want is a simple solemnization or some different affair. I'm personally not a fan of banquets and had probably already written an exhaustive entry on why, so I will not bable on about this issue any longer. I'm glad that in this respect at least, I get a bit of leeway by holding mine in a different venue. Although not exactly my ideal (there are far too many invitation that I would ideally prefer) it is still different and that is exactly how I like it: not mass produced.
The thing about marriage is that, it is no longer about what you and your family wants, but should also take into account what the in-laws might think. The notion of pleasing everybody becomes an even more remote possibility.
Finances is really shrinking. I'm grateful that God made me save up for that few years before going to study. Still, I've spent more than I should on frivolities this month. And I still want more! Just to tide over that pain of being a poor student. Ironic, isn't it.
My new house is going up beautifully, esp after the chandeliers were put up. I can't believe what a difference great lighting made! Mister told me that it's even more gorgeous at night. I can't wait for renovation to finish. Here's praying that my last chandelier goes up well too. We called it "Purple Princess", because, well, it is decorated with purple crystals. But it is a fragile little thing and some beads etc were falling out even as I was carrying it to the lighting shop to buy bulb for it. I'm glad our contractor had sense not to allow his men to sweep the beads away; hey it pays to get an awesome contractor!
Gave a surprise party to my uncle at Crystal Jade in Vivo last night. I was thinking of my new house the entire night, gazing at the restaurant's red decor. Everything is going nicely, except perhaps my studies. I wish I'm as smart as some people. Sigh.
One of the most common grouses among young Chinese is the fact that they are pressured by their families to hold banquets when all they want is a simple solemnization or some different affair. I'm personally not a fan of banquets and had probably already written an exhaustive entry on why, so I will not bable on about this issue any longer. I'm glad that in this respect at least, I get a bit of leeway by holding mine in a different venue. Although not exactly my ideal (there are far too many invitation that I would ideally prefer) it is still different and that is exactly how I like it: not mass produced.
The thing about marriage is that, it is no longer about what you and your family wants, but should also take into account what the in-laws might think. The notion of pleasing everybody becomes an even more remote possibility.
Finances is really shrinking. I'm grateful that God made me save up for that few years before going to study. Still, I've spent more than I should on frivolities this month. And I still want more! Just to tide over that pain of being a poor student. Ironic, isn't it.
My new house is going up beautifully, esp after the chandeliers were put up. I can't believe what a difference great lighting made! Mister told me that it's even more gorgeous at night. I can't wait for renovation to finish. Here's praying that my last chandelier goes up well too. We called it "Purple Princess", because, well, it is decorated with purple crystals. But it is a fragile little thing and some beads etc were falling out even as I was carrying it to the lighting shop to buy bulb for it. I'm glad our contractor had sense not to allow his men to sweep the beads away; hey it pays to get an awesome contractor!
Gave a surprise party to my uncle at Crystal Jade in Vivo last night. I was thinking of my new house the entire night, gazing at the restaurant's red decor. Everything is going nicely, except perhaps my studies. I wish I'm as smart as some people. Sigh.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Assertive versus Abrasive
I have decided to skip lecture tonight. This obsession with doing a dissertation-worthy term paper has reached its limit for me. I actually emailed D about feeling angry at what he did about 1998: reducing it to mere statistics and downplaying the existence of rape victims. He responded to a later email about statistics, but not to that issue. I don't know if he had seen it; the lack of reply does make me feel like I'm in the wrong but I think deep inside my heart, I know everyone feels the same. I'm the only idiot who spoke our minds. Well, it's not the first time. Asians are not known to be the most assertive. I am not either, but I think time and age have changed me somewhat. I am not about to let something that matter to me and to my kind be treated lightly.
I am not the smartest person around. In fact, I suspect I'm prolly the dumbest since Hons days or even prior to that. But I try my best in everything I do and I think I've been reasonably well-regarded, career-wise, so I don't fear for my rice bowl.
Speaking of career, I am getting less and less partial towards the idea of serving my bond in a certain place. Bureaucracy and the resulting inflexibility annoy me like nothing else. Why must I pay 50 cent to deposit my belongings in a locker, fill up endless registration forms for my details and purpose for being there and promise to send my thesis to them just to use the damned library? Oh, and buy a new photocopying card just to use that one and only photocopy machine in the entire place. If it wasn't because I was desperate, I would not have deigned to step in! And even then, I didn;t really find what I was looking for. So I just have to suck it and plough through that paper the best I could. Thankfully, Boss had asked me back.
Can't wait to finish this whole damn study. Can't wait for the holidays. Can't wait to wedding day. Can't wait to start earning a proper salary. Meanwhile, back to the paper I go.
I am not the smartest person around. In fact, I suspect I'm prolly the dumbest since Hons days or even prior to that. But I try my best in everything I do and I think I've been reasonably well-regarded, career-wise, so I don't fear for my rice bowl.
Speaking of career, I am getting less and less partial towards the idea of serving my bond in a certain place. Bureaucracy and the resulting inflexibility annoy me like nothing else. Why must I pay 50 cent to deposit my belongings in a locker, fill up endless registration forms for my details and purpose for being there and promise to send my thesis to them just to use the damned library? Oh, and buy a new photocopying card just to use that one and only photocopy machine in the entire place. If it wasn't because I was desperate, I would not have deigned to step in! And even then, I didn;t really find what I was looking for. So I just have to suck it and plough through that paper the best I could. Thankfully, Boss had asked me back.
Can't wait to finish this whole damn study. Can't wait for the holidays. Can't wait to wedding day. Can't wait to start earning a proper salary. Meanwhile, back to the paper I go.
Labels: Rambles, Random, Saya Affairs
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Rants
I wish that I possess just some of that zzzz genes that my maternal side of the family have. These people can sleep anywhere, anytime they want (or don't want). Then I dont have to think that much about the kind of mattress and pillow that I need to buy. And I won't have to spend so much. Getting married is an exorbitant affair. Or at least it applies more to moi *sigh*
I think I'm forced to skip lecture tmr. D is annoying the life out of everyone in class with his Marxist interpretation of virtually everything in this planet (he managed to believe that even gender and sexuality is influences by class) and breathing down our necks for the research note. It's crazy. This is not a thesis class. We are all either working part-timers or students struggling with 4 other modules. And he puts us all in stereotypes. Yes, I am Indon Chinese, but we are not just "petty bourgeoisie". We work hard for our money. And we do not throw our hard-earned cash like the Lim family on frivolous things. And statistics do not speak the whole truth. Do not attempt to convince me that rapes do not occur during 1998 just because you can't find reliable data. If one can find reliable data about anything in Indonesia, it won't be the way it is.
I just discovered that Mannelli bracelets are actually a must-have for fashionistas: http://mannelliflorence.com/index2.php?pag=1 Not as famous as Hermes bracelets, but way more affordable! Anyone going to Florence? I want one (or maybe 3!)
I think I'm forced to skip lecture tmr. D is annoying the life out of everyone in class with his Marxist interpretation of virtually everything in this planet (he managed to believe that even gender and sexuality is influences by class) and breathing down our necks for the research note. It's crazy. This is not a thesis class. We are all either working part-timers or students struggling with 4 other modules. And he puts us all in stereotypes. Yes, I am Indon Chinese, but we are not just "petty bourgeoisie". We work hard for our money. And we do not throw our hard-earned cash like the Lim family on frivolous things. And statistics do not speak the whole truth. Do not attempt to convince me that rapes do not occur during 1998 just because you can't find reliable data. If one can find reliable data about anything in Indonesia, it won't be the way it is.
I just discovered that Mannelli bracelets are actually a must-have for fashionistas: http://mannelliflorence.com/index2.php?pag=1 Not as famous as Hermes bracelets, but way more affordable! Anyone going to Florence? I want one (or maybe 3!)
Labels: Rambles, Random, Saya Affairs
Monday, March 15, 2010
Moral Issue
I think there is a serious prob when a family is rich enough to afford a new, branded car but have problems using it to go to the market, or for any other purpose for that matter. What I mean is that, even if they are willing to "dirty" the new car, it is not available at home at the time of need, but instead is over elsewhere that already possesses 2 cars of their own. I think it is a serious flaw in the moral values of those who thinks the need to butter up rich friends but have no time to think about their mother/ in-law who needs the car to go to the market or go to her great-grandson's birthday. I think it is crazy that people are thinking that, just because an old man is wealthy, he needs to buy the best car and do other things just because he can afford it.
I think there is no need to go to the most expensive restaurants to have the most delicious food. Some of the best foods I've had are in the remote corner of Chinatown or at the roadside in Bangkok and Hanoi. I also do not see the shame in choosing to celebrate one's 80th birthday at home even though he can afford better.
I am of the opinion that, unfortunately, in this life, if you are blessed with wealth, people will be kind to you even if you behave like an asshole. So, thrifty people, eat dust.
I think there is no need to go to the most expensive restaurants to have the most delicious food. Some of the best foods I've had are in the remote corner of Chinatown or at the roadside in Bangkok and Hanoi. I also do not see the shame in choosing to celebrate one's 80th birthday at home even though he can afford better.
I am of the opinion that, unfortunately, in this life, if you are blessed with wealth, people will be kind to you even if you behave like an asshole. So, thrifty people, eat dust.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Public Speaking
I was made to chair class discussion twice this week. Gosh, public speaking is something I fear the most. It was many years till I found the best method that work for my Powerpoint presentation: prepare the script (complete with cue as to when to click the mouse) beforehand and read off it! But it is something else to chair class discussion, esp when it was impromptu! Thank goodness Dr. T was pretty encouraging, despite his ah beng ways. And I guess a masters level class was less intimidating than PhD one. Still I know I have a long way to go before perfecting my public speaking skills. I don't even like to ask questions in class, because the first words that come out of my mouth tend to sound so raw and awkward. I much prefer penning down my thoughts, where they can be subject to a little editing to sound more polished.
Been waking up automatically at 4 plus am and having a hard time trying to fall back into sleep. It makes for a tired and not to mention grumpy person the next day.
I'm sick of being pressed for decisions. For months now, I've had to make decisions about my house, my wedding, my MA stuff etc etc etc. Can someone pls help me decide, esp when things involve lotsa money, for now?
Been waking up automatically at 4 plus am and having a hard time trying to fall back into sleep. It makes for a tired and not to mention grumpy person the next day.
I'm sick of being pressed for decisions. For months now, I've had to make decisions about my house, my wedding, my MA stuff etc etc etc. Can someone pls help me decide, esp when things involve lotsa money, for now?
Labels: Rambles, Random, Saya Affairs
Friday, March 12, 2010
Expensive=Style Meh?
God does indeed deliver when you need the most. I'm having a car to school today. Feel really grateful, esp as it is looking like rain.
I don't think I have the making of an academic. I can't think, I don't argue my case well and I find it really difficult to understand what authors are trying to put across sometimes. So what is my future? Anything other than civil service? That would be surrendering my life to the darkest side.
Sometimes I wonder why others my age are already living it up, having those things that me and my bro can only dream about. It is strange, too, how those who can actually afford them are the ones who lost/ never have the taste to pull the style off. I saw this tai-tai wearing an all-yellow ensemble (yellow silk shift dress and yellow Vivienne Westwood high heels with large heart at the toes) striding purposefully around CK Tangs. Never mind her bad taste, the salesgirl greeted her warmly while coolly ignoring poor ol' moi. Was it because of that Birkin bag she was carrying?? I also know someone my age who gets these invites to Lamborghini and Hermes parties, but look strangely like any of those S'porean lians even with those Chanel 2.55 bags and Ferragamo shoes. Which brings me to the point that expensive need not equal style. But anyway, I'm probably showing more of my inherent dissatisfaction with my life.
Perhaps I should go into some kind of entrepreneurship? Which I know nothing about. But I still hold fast to that promise God showed Mister and I. Speaking of him, it has been a few days no almost no contact, save a few emails and MSN conversation one lucky night. I realised how much we have both grown to care for and depend on one another for emotional support. The week feels lonely and slow to pass. It must be hard to be singles at this point in our lives. For us, I just wish that this difficult and horribly busy period will be over soon.
I keep thinking about my house, which renovation just started yesterday. The colour scheme and chandeliers may make it resemble the French opera house! At least, it made me think of The Phantom of the Opera musical set-up. I remember photographing the large chandelier with those red curtain backdrop. Let's pray it turns out beautiful and not over the top. I looking at this silver Arabian ship lamp that I'm hoping to incorporate into the house and hoping it will not look out of place in the French-inspired setting. Maybe my next house, if I ever buy any, will be Moroccan/ Persian/Arabian 1001 Nights themed! I'm so interested in the Jewels of the Mughal Empire exhibition at ACM, but have no time to visit it. We are also lucky for the donation of cutlery and kitchen utensils from our parents. I have this Wedgewood or something tea cup set that my folks never used! So happy. Now here's praying that we find good mattress and dining room set.
I don't think I have the making of an academic. I can't think, I don't argue my case well and I find it really difficult to understand what authors are trying to put across sometimes. So what is my future? Anything other than civil service? That would be surrendering my life to the darkest side.
Sometimes I wonder why others my age are already living it up, having those things that me and my bro can only dream about. It is strange, too, how those who can actually afford them are the ones who lost/ never have the taste to pull the style off. I saw this tai-tai wearing an all-yellow ensemble (yellow silk shift dress and yellow Vivienne Westwood high heels with large heart at the toes) striding purposefully around CK Tangs. Never mind her bad taste, the salesgirl greeted her warmly while coolly ignoring poor ol' moi. Was it because of that Birkin bag she was carrying?? I also know someone my age who gets these invites to Lamborghini and Hermes parties, but look strangely like any of those S'porean lians even with those Chanel 2.55 bags and Ferragamo shoes. Which brings me to the point that expensive need not equal style. But anyway, I'm probably showing more of my inherent dissatisfaction with my life.
Perhaps I should go into some kind of entrepreneurship? Which I know nothing about. But I still hold fast to that promise God showed Mister and I. Speaking of him, it has been a few days no almost no contact, save a few emails and MSN conversation one lucky night. I realised how much we have both grown to care for and depend on one another for emotional support. The week feels lonely and slow to pass. It must be hard to be singles at this point in our lives. For us, I just wish that this difficult and horribly busy period will be over soon.
I keep thinking about my house, which renovation just started yesterday. The colour scheme and chandeliers may make it resemble the French opera house! At least, it made me think of The Phantom of the Opera musical set-up. I remember photographing the large chandelier with those red curtain backdrop. Let's pray it turns out beautiful and not over the top. I looking at this silver Arabian ship lamp that I'm hoping to incorporate into the house and hoping it will not look out of place in the French-inspired setting. Maybe my next house, if I ever buy any, will be Moroccan/ Persian/Arabian 1001 Nights themed! I'm so interested in the Jewels of the Mughal Empire exhibition at ACM, but have no time to visit it. We are also lucky for the donation of cutlery and kitchen utensils from our parents. I have this Wedgewood or something tea cup set that my folks never used! So happy. Now here's praying that we find good mattress and dining room set.
Labels: Rambles, Random, Saya Affairs
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
What I do not understand about Singaporean brides is...
The penchant for doing fashion show during wedding.
What's with the craze about having 3-5 changes of gowns on the wedding day? Most of them are hardly model standards and worse yet, I think it is awful to parade rented gowns that obviously don't fit, look kua zang and are yellowing from having been dry-cleaned once too often. I have also yet to see a bride who looks good in her evening gown.
The obsession about wanting Mercedes for bridal car
Mercedes is so 1980s. Period.
The yum seng
Loud, boorish, meaningless. At least to me.
The irony: they tend to look better in their pre-wedding shots than on the actual day
Eeeeks! Pre-wedding photo albums tend to collect dust after the wedding.
The fact that they made jie-meis wear shorter version of the white wedding gown
Gives meaning to the term ban (in my case, meaning 'half' rather than 'accompanying') niang.
That everyone chooses the tried-and-tested ballroom route
Hey there are plenty of other great venues!
They think buffet= cheap
What's with the craze about having 3-5 changes of gowns on the wedding day? Most of them are hardly model standards and worse yet, I think it is awful to parade rented gowns that obviously don't fit, look kua zang and are yellowing from having been dry-cleaned once too often. I have also yet to see a bride who looks good in her evening gown.
The obsession about wanting Mercedes for bridal car
Mercedes is so 1980s. Period.
The yum seng
Loud, boorish, meaningless. At least to me.
The irony: they tend to look better in their pre-wedding shots than on the actual day
Eeeeks! Pre-wedding photo albums tend to collect dust after the wedding.
The fact that they made jie-meis wear shorter version of the white wedding gown
Gives meaning to the term ban (in my case, meaning 'half' rather than 'accompanying') niang.
That everyone chooses the tried-and-tested ballroom route
Hey there are plenty of other great venues!
They think buffet= cheap
Friday, January 08, 2010
2009 in Retrospect
Have finally decided to sit down to pen some thoughts about the past year after finding a (relatively) fast Internet here in Jakarta :)
One of the highlights of 2009 was the fact that I finally got to travel for work. The first was to Washington DC in February/ March and the next was to Auckland. Both were eye-opening in their own ways as they were the first times I have been to the US and New Zealand. I realise that I am more of a doer than a talker and that could hinder some opportunities in my future career, although in general the feedback for my work performance had always been very positive in my past few jobs. My last boss had been the kindest, gentlest and most generous person I've ever met and we shared the same faith. However, I realised to my dismay that I tend not to perform as well when in relaxed state, which is something I'm still trying to figure out how to better.
The 2nd half of the year was sheer nightmare. I left for graduate studies under a scholarship that pays peanuts. Besides having to adjust back to student life and pay, the workload of Masters was...plenty horrific. A classmate called me crazy when she heard I was taking 5 modules during our first week. It proved nothing less than true. Especially when coupled with wedding planning. Mister and I decided to do it all ourselves because we realised we could not afford to engage a wedding planner. The result was an ailment in the stomach, which is only recently allayed in the December break. I lost about 4 kg, 2 clothes sizes. My gown designer was very happy about it, but no one else. I have since put back on about 1 kg, which is something to celebrate about.
Throughout the nightmare, God proved to be a stabilising factor. Whether or not people do believe in miracles or supernatural happenings, Mister and I encountered a couple of them. I believe that if God had not sent them, I would have given up or fallen into severe depression.
In addition, God also lifted me through this horrid experience with the caring love of my dear, family, relatives, and friends. I am really sorry for MIAing from many of the gatherings and perhaps being too businesslike in communicating with some. If I could make a movie about this period in my life, I'll probably call it "Time No Enough".
Right now, I'm just wondering what this new year will bring. I am not looking forward to school next week and all that mad rush. In addition, our new house is here and we'll need to start renovating soon. The wedding planning also need to continue. We do have many things in place already and hopefully, given our early planning, God help make everything work out.
Happy 2010!
One of the highlights of 2009 was the fact that I finally got to travel for work. The first was to Washington DC in February/ March and the next was to Auckland. Both were eye-opening in their own ways as they were the first times I have been to the US and New Zealand. I realise that I am more of a doer than a talker and that could hinder some opportunities in my future career, although in general the feedback for my work performance had always been very positive in my past few jobs. My last boss had been the kindest, gentlest and most generous person I've ever met and we shared the same faith. However, I realised to my dismay that I tend not to perform as well when in relaxed state, which is something I'm still trying to figure out how to better.
The 2nd half of the year was sheer nightmare. I left for graduate studies under a scholarship that pays peanuts. Besides having to adjust back to student life and pay, the workload of Masters was...plenty horrific. A classmate called me crazy when she heard I was taking 5 modules during our first week. It proved nothing less than true. Especially when coupled with wedding planning. Mister and I decided to do it all ourselves because we realised we could not afford to engage a wedding planner. The result was an ailment in the stomach, which is only recently allayed in the December break. I lost about 4 kg, 2 clothes sizes. My gown designer was very happy about it, but no one else. I have since put back on about 1 kg, which is something to celebrate about.
Throughout the nightmare, God proved to be a stabilising factor. Whether or not people do believe in miracles or supernatural happenings, Mister and I encountered a couple of them. I believe that if God had not sent them, I would have given up or fallen into severe depression.
In addition, God also lifted me through this horrid experience with the caring love of my dear, family, relatives, and friends. I am really sorry for MIAing from many of the gatherings and perhaps being too businesslike in communicating with some. If I could make a movie about this period in my life, I'll probably call it "Time No Enough".
Right now, I'm just wondering what this new year will bring. I am not looking forward to school next week and all that mad rush. In addition, our new house is here and we'll need to start renovating soon. The wedding planning also need to continue. We do have many things in place already and hopefully, given our early planning, God help make everything work out.
Happy 2010!
Labels: Random, Saya Affairs
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Babies tear out your innards
Many ppl are giving birth recently.
I cannot understand the excitement. Especially after hearing what my former colleague said about her mother's experience: "It's like having all your innards torn out of you." I guess that did it for me. NEVER!
Won't you find it frightening to have a hand/feet/etc sticking out of your belly?? It's like having a Spawn or some alien inside you. EEEKS!!!
I cannot understand the excitement. Especially after hearing what my former colleague said about her mother's experience: "It's like having all your innards torn out of you." I guess that did it for me. NEVER!
Won't you find it frightening to have a hand/feet/etc sticking out of your belly?? It's like having a Spawn or some alien inside you. EEEKS!!!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Following Ji-san's essamppurr...
I'm inspired to blog a bit after a loooooong hiatus.
I've reached a three-quarter mark. It's mid-term now. PC terminals at NUS are mostly clogged up by undergrads working on their term papers....or simply facebook-ing (hmpf). 4 more papers to go. 2 exams. Keep it up. Keep it up.
I think I am going to survive.
Save for that nagging stomach problem.
Oh well....
At least there is Saturday to look forward to! It's D-Day!!! On a personal front, of course. Finally we can do something concrete for our Event. After nearly a year of planning and planning. Sadly, it seems impossible to be entirely original, especially given the high costs of planning Events. And it sucks to be one of the last, because people may think you are not being original. Oh well...
There is still Sun to look forward to!!! Finally we can step back to Eternal Life after a month of fieldwork elsewhere. Spiritual home is very important in one's well-being indeed.
I've reached a three-quarter mark. It's mid-term now. PC terminals at NUS are mostly clogged up by undergrads working on their term papers....or simply facebook-ing (hmpf). 4 more papers to go. 2 exams. Keep it up. Keep it up.
I think I am going to survive.
Save for that nagging stomach problem.
Oh well....
At least there is Saturday to look forward to! It's D-Day!!! On a personal front, of course. Finally we can do something concrete for our Event. After nearly a year of planning and planning. Sadly, it seems impossible to be entirely original, especially given the high costs of planning Events. And it sucks to be one of the last, because people may think you are not being original. Oh well...
There is still Sun to look forward to!!! Finally we can step back to Eternal Life after a month of fieldwork elsewhere. Spiritual home is very important in one's well-being indeed.
Labels: Random
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