The Opera Populaire

I want to always remember YC's words that:"...it's not flipping burgers :)" Being a high-strung individual, I push myself too hard sometimes. Yet, life is a bit difficult at the moment and I fear it may get more and more uphill. I was pretty sad that some people whom I used to get counsel from did not respond to my queries.

It was a lovely gathering at Chingling and Alex's house on Tue, the 2nd day of LNY. I received the message at the last min, but because I was literally dying for the company of these guys, immediately made up my mind to make it no matter what. Thank goodness we had finished the visitings. I couldn't bear it; it was so awfully tiresome to pack in as many visits as possible within the day. Things were so much more fun as a single. You only needed to doll up, say your sweet greetings and prepare for the angbao windfall. This year, I could barely smile, let alone greet people. I swear that from now onwards, I am joining the crowd to fly out of S'pore every CNY. I think I'm becoming the CNY version of Scrooge's "humbug!"

Labels: Rambles, Saya Affairs

Happy 2012 to all who still read this blog (which I am assuming are: Me, Myself and I)!

Like some people I know, I am wary of the entire tradition of making New Year resolution. However, in the past 2 years, I have found them useful principles upon which to lead my life and have actually made conscious efforts in adhering to them. Therefore, I am making more principles (don't wanna call them resolutions!) for 2012:

1) Shop and buy far less fashion-related stuff. I have finally reached a point when I am happy with what I have. Having less means that mixing and matching becomes a necessity, with sometimes breathtaking results that can perhaps be called, ahem, personal style. This also means no to the "Buy It Now" button, unless I absolutely need the item, cannot find it here, no possibility of getting it unless I am willing to camp overnight in some foreign country, is crazily expensive to buy here and fill that intense, inexplicable desire within me.

2) Find a new job. Yes, despite this slow economy *sigh* It has come to this. But God's will pervails. That is another long story.

3) Give more time to the people I care about in my life: Hubs, family, friends. People seem fundamentally lonely and empty in this age, it seems. Would love to help in any way I can. Oh, I'm so excited to be a jie-mei for Audrey's wedding! For the 1st time! A bridesmaid for a dear friend! *gush gush* I'm so stoked!

4) Save up for that epic trip. More details when it comes. Woohooo!

5) Okay, I know this shouldn't have been last, but I really wanna learn the lesson of surrender to God's will well. It hasn't been an easy few years for me, and consequently for Hubs as well. I don't know how to explain the details of something so private over a public domain, but yup, for now, that is that.

Happy Lunar New Year in advance too!!! Huat lah!!!!

Labels: Rambles, Random, Saya Affairs

So the time in the jailhouse has finally ended. I have been spending the last few days at home, simply rotting away and dabbling in bits of this and that which I had not had the chance to do since working. While I didn't have much to do in the jail, time to do what you want was significantly cut short if you have to spend time in the office all the same. So I have been up to:

1) Buying 4 books from the National Library Board sale at Expo. 2 are the books I read as a student during my bachelor's and masters respectively: Figures of Criminality in Indonesia, the Philippines and Colonial Vietnam (ed. Vincente Rafael) and Secret Traders, Porous Border (Eric Tagliacozzo). The 3rd was a surprisingly good book about Indonesia till the Abdurrahman Wahid era published by the jailhouse. I thoroughly enjoyed reading the introductory piece and a bit of the middle part written by the editor of Tempo, Goenawan Mohammad. I think it was that little part about Pramoedya Ananta Toer which convinced me to buy the book. As some people know very well, I am a huge fan of the late Pram, as he was known, whatever implication that may be. I am looking forward to re-reading Tim Lindsey's updated piece on premanisme after the Suharto era. I know this is a bit late for Indonesianists out there, but this is coming from someone who is super lazy about keeping up to date with academic readings. The last book is Entre Nous, a thoroughly frivolous book about being French, which I bought just because it was $2 and I'm interested in extending the self-confident and luxurious style to my personal style.

2) My first ever dermatologist visit. My skin has been experiencing dry spells ever since moving here. It was manageable previously, but ever since switching to the normal to oily version of Shiseido's Elixir range and using a new cleanser at the same time, it has been worse this last 2-3 months. It was actually hurting when I sat down at the derm's yesterday. Was told to stop my normal "commercial" regime and use the clinic's ones for 2 weeks. And to come back for another visit after that. My skin looked instantly better after I used them last night. I hope to change some of my existing products, but I'm not sure what to use. The Elixir range is not available in Singapore and I'm still looking for a reputable (and hopefully cheap....sorry, I'm a cheapskate hence the Internet is my best shopping medium) online store to bring it in.

3) Adding more recipes to my limited cooking knowledge. I really ought to post some recipes to this blog, just to keep count of what I have been experimenting with thus far and as future reference. But again, I am simply too lazy hehe. Speaking of which, I just made beef stew using Jolynn's recipe, with some modification. Think will start with this.

Tomato Juice Beef Stew Recipe

Ingredients:
Tomato Juice (1 lt. or so)
Beef cubes or shank
1 large onion (slice into rings)
Half clove garlic (sliced)
1 carrot (sliced)
1 potato (cut into big chunks)
Button mushrooms/ broccoli or anything else you like)

Marinate:
Worchestershire sauce (can substitute with dark soy sauce)
3 tablespoon Sesame oil
Black pepper
Mix herbs

Steps:
1) Marinate beef cubes with the marinate ingredients. You may like to be liberal with the Worchestershire sauce, black pepper and mix herbs to give it that strong flavour. Cover and leave in the fridge overnight.

2) The next day, heat up some oil (I use olive oil, but vegetable oil is good as well) in a pan and fry the garlic for about 3 seconds. Add the marinated beef cubes and onions and fry till all sides of the beef is cooked.

3) Add the carrot, potato and other ingredients and fry till cooked.

4) Place them all into a slow cooker and add the tomato juice till the ingredients are covered. You may use the "Auto" function if you need to leave the house. If not, use "High" and then switch to "Auto" or "Low" when the stew is boiled. Cook for about 3 hours or more.

Phew. It is not easy to pen down the recipes indeed. I'm sure everyone has heard of so and so who is a superb cook but grumble whenever he/she is asked to write down the recipe. Cooking is really all about rough estimation and that cook's instinct, I think.

Hope you enjoy it. Will post more if there is chance! Time for lunch.

Labels: Rambles, Recipe

I know most of my friends no longer blog. Indeed, in the era of Twitter, Facebook and what-have-you, personal blogs especially, are outdated. I have been following some fashion blogs and found them very inspiring for my consumerist habits. It also acts as some kind of a vent for this painful period of my life, which I hope is ending soon.

Sent in my notification letter 2 weeks ago. Instead of relief, however, I felt more lost than before. I was recommended for a job and went for the meet-up session (it felt more like that than an interview as I know it). I don't believe I ever screwed up more than that...it kinda reinforced the fact that my jobs thus far has not provided me with the necessary skills and knowledge for being successful in this world. The guy still wants me for ad-hoc projects and initiation into his company, though. Now that creates bigger dilemma for me. But, at this point, I think beggars can't be choosers. It may provide opportunity for me to learn something new, which the current jobs can't teach me. But it will be tough...gosh.

I do wonder, however, if the "iron rice bowl" still exists in this era. At times I do think I need that.

Anyhow, this was not the first time it happened, but I was pretty annoyed yesterday at the manner in which I was treated by some elders here. We all arrived at the same time for work and I smiled and said hi, but the personnel did not appear as if he has seen me. A few months ago, he offered a ride to my colleague and I and we accepted. I noticed that he had a phone attached to his car and commented on it. No response. I felt like a fool. Then it happened again yesterday. Well, lets just say that I'm not about to let it happen a 3rd time. He is not the only person who does that. This place makes me wonder, what is the use of being up there if you have your nose in the clouds as well?? Don't you remember that perchance you might have been like me in the past? Why do you extend so-called kindness and courtesy only to the rich and famous? Do you still live in the illusion of past glories? I'm fed up. Period.

Labels: Rambles, Saya Affairs

(source: Garance Dore)

And so I walked out of the Ferragamo pre-sale empty-handed. It seems that everytime you plan your purchases, get yourself all psyched up over it and then finally go, something inevitably happens to make you not part with the money. Actually, I did part with my money, but not on SF. Let me tell you the story bit by bit.

I arrived at Paragon SF, waited for Hubs to come and then went in, proudly flashing the Citibank mailer, smiling somewhat smugly at the "Preview Sale: By Invitation Only" sign outside the glass door. I braced myself hard not to get sidelined by the small leather goods section and went straight to the shoes section. Asked for black calfskin Vara in size 6 and a half D. Nice salesgirl told me the black is not on sale, but I could try it on, if I proceed upstairs (aka the level where shoppers should not step on unless they have enough moolah to throw on non-sale items and croc-skin bags). Only khaki and navy Vara were on sale. Bummer. Nehmind. I decided to check them out for a bit.

If you have imposed a shopping ban on yourself, the last thing you should do is to check out sales. And I had an agonising time deciding if I want a denim or a crackled Varina instead of the original black. We went to the forbidden 2nd floor and I asked another salesgirl to bring me a black calfskin Vara and patent Varina in the above size. She somehow managed to think I asked for a black patent Vara in size 7 D, even though she asked me twice. Sigh. When I asked her nicely for calfskin, she said they ran out of it?? Damn. I knew I just saw it at the very same branch the past weekend. Asked me for my contact so that they could inform me when they have stock.

So we went back downstairs. Asked for my size in both the denim and crackled skin, in bronze. No more, sorry. I swear I heard the salesman said there was one, just before we went upstairs. See where a few minutes of pondering leave you during sales?? Dejected, we decided to try ION.

I thought I struck gold when I saw a chocolate brown Vara on sale. Sadly, my size was no longer available. I managed to try on the demin Varina, but finally I decided that they were not too comfy and the workmanship was bad (the one at Paragon had bits of glue all over the beads and this one had an uncut bit of plastic sticking out of the denim which threatened to cut my right foot). No more size in copper crackled as well, although I tried on the silver crackled one. Comfy (check), size (check). But why the hesitation? I had worn silver shoes before, to their deaths as well. So why not this? But something in the silver did not quite say "okay" in the same way the copper did, so I hesitantly put it away and led Hubs away to Tangs, where we blew about the same amount on a microwave convection oven and other stuff. It may be some time yet before I get that dream pumps, but I guess since it's the classic collection, it will be available for some time yet.

It is impossible to wear outer wear, much less jackets in this sweltering weather, but doesn't this one from Isabel Marant looks divine?

Labels: Rambles, Saya Affairs

I'm not in good humour for various reasons. Time has come for serious thought about my future career and this is not something I enjoy. I'm nearing the end of my jail term and had applied for various positions, but not heard from any of them. till yesterday. Do I want to be a glorified tuition teacher, with a salary that I can only dream of currently? The thought disturbed me the whole night. Heck, I am at a loss about my current "career" and believe it should end soon. But not for this. Not for teaching the children of kiasu parents, whipping them more in this already sad education system. Frankly, the obsession of this nation towards academic performance disgusts me no end. What we are churning out is a bunch of kids who are exam-smart, but fail to appreciate life and know how to live outside of the school. The civil service, unfortunately, employs a vast majority of these. Which explains the miserable state of a certain party in these times of preparing for the next GE.

If anyone needs any dissertation about "radicalisation", I think I can provide them with a good real-life psychological working. This is one such place. I just heard something that made me really angry. I had been angry about my current state, but when I heard what was being done to a poor old man, being literally forced to retire, but stoically holding on, I want to lash out at some ppl up there. So you are only concerned about your past glories and the hum drum reality of your current life. have you ever spared a thought for that very person working under you?? Where is that generation that championed the poor and sought to improve the standard of living for the citizens? Everyday staying here makes me wanna spit some imaginary bitterness inside at those delusional folks. If this had happened in the neighbouring country, there would have been street protests long ago.

Meanwhile, I stew on. *Grrrr*

Labels: Rambles

This actually came late, but it suddenly popped into my head, seeing that tis' the time for partying, visiting etc. What do you do when foreign friends/ acquaintances visit you? According to boss, in Hong Kong, the socially recognized ritual is to bring the said foreign friend to dine at a restaurant. The host will personally make sure that the guest is well-fed, placing food onto the plate for him. Is there similar social code of conduct for Singapore?

I am not the most sociable person. Indeed, many times I find socializing with people I am not close to a big, fat chore. Especially if I have to bridge some cultural gap. While I speak Mandarin and Bahasa Indonesia well enough, there are still some difficulty conveying the more difficult terms.

Unfortunately or fortunately, I seem to have gained a certain reputation among overseas acquaintances for being hospitable and so get contacted whenever some people are in town. It should not be such a big deal, but I find it a chore to network and be asked for contacts all the time. Because there is a limitation to my network of acquaintances. And also I am not the most knowledgeable when it comes to sharing "expertise." Still prefer being a listener rather than a talker. Prefer to hide behind "middleman" when conversing to strangers.

I had also been sort of "betrayed" by some people I thought were gentlemenly or could be trusted, at least. Assumptions about my parents' wealth were made after sending me to my grandparents' house, despite repeated attempts on my part to tell them it was not our house. After the experience, of course once again I realised the need to trim away less-than-savoury characters from my friends list. I think business associates and friendship cannot mix. Period.

On a happier note, our housewarming day was pleasantly filled with old acquaintances, some of whom stayed till well beyond the ending time to chat about old and new times. I am one whom, although seeing the importance of socializing, have gotten too old or impatient to deal with the tribulations of making superficial acquaintances or those who require too much effort to get along with.

Labels: Rambles

In the recent years, I noticed an increasing tendency to dish out a piece of my mind during annoying circumstances. When once I would have kept silent for the purpose of keeping peace and harmony, I no longer do. At times, anyway.

This post is triggered by an intensely annoying incident, which had happened for the 3rd or 4th time. Everytime I try to step into the library of what is now my workplace, I would inevitably be stopped with:"Hey! Have you registered?!" I can't remember if I had ever blogged about it before, but the 1st few times it did, I was not yet a staff and so technically had no rights within the compound *cue sarcasm*. I recalled giving this young lady librarian rolling eyes and barely veiled sarcastic responses to her bureaucratic, almost robot-like registration processes. I made up my mind never to step in again, but alas, I was hauled to the workplace and have to walk near it everyday now.

Today, I successfully walked in and found my books on the shelves. Thinking that the library staff finally recognised me now, little did I expect that problem was to happen at the borrowing counter (yes, they still have borrowing counter. Hello, digital age? Hello, automatic check-out machine? Oops. And did I tell you that registration was conducted by hand, still. And probably thrown into the Black Hole of the library.) Even after passing him my valid staff library card, I was asked if I had registered! He even showed me a photocopied student card and asked if it was mine. A few minutes of confusion ensued before he realised I was not who he thought I was. Uncle Librarian got down to trying to stamp my library books.

"Hello?! Have you registered yet???" This plumb auntie asked me. She demanded again, seeing I was struck dumb by her question. Only after being told by Uncle did she realise her mistake. they both thought I was "someone else". I gave her my coldest look and refused to talk, waiting for my books. (Yes this is how long some library could go about processing a borrowing request. from staff. With valid library card.)

As destiny would have it, the "someone else" for whom I was mistaken arrived then. Subjected to the same miserable registration process I once got, she complained why must borrowing from a library be so difficult? "Oh it's the same everywhere. Even in *** it's the same." Replied Plump Auntie.

"Oh yes. It is a pain." I blurted out in disgust and anger. "I am a staff and THEY too put me through this."

"Oh no! No! It was a case of mistaken identity!" Plump Auntie insisted. I rolled my eyes. Still waiting for my books. Uncle had gotten distracted with the girl's request and gone to do other stuff. Man, I could have finished cooking a simple meal for myself by the time he finished processing my borrowing request. Anyhow, I took off, shaking dust off my feet at them in disgust. Pathetic things, trying to justify their pitiful existence.

Now I would really like to buy something to cool off.

Labels: Rambles

I've been thinking recently about the increasing difficulty in what we Christians love to call "living a Christian lifestyle." What exactly does this term means? Many non-Christians tend to conjure up images of their friends rising up early to go to church on Sundays, participating in ministries or Bible study sessions on other days, going out to the street to perform that task of evangelising. Yes, I do mean all of that, but there is more to it as well.

Many events in the time leading to my recent marriage and post-marriage adjustments led me to thinking. Yes, the church is an are where we are to find fellowship with other Christians, replenish spirtual knowledge etc. Then there is also the task we are, for the lack of a better word, "destined" to do outside of the church. I'm not a super Christian and in the period following graduation and into working life, find it even more difficult to be one. And, difficult as it is for me to say this, or even explain this fully to even believing friends sometimes, I know for certain that the bulk of what God is asking of me is not to be inside the church. For your info, I am not trying to say that I am henceforth excused from attending church and participating in its activities! What I am trying to put across is that sometimes, if we as Christians hope to make a difference in the world, then it is not within a walled compound or even among people of the same beliefs that we ought to stay. At least, that seems to be my calling. But that is also as far as the revelation goes.

I may not be terribly forthcoming about my views sometimes, but this does not mean that I hurt none when people I care about blast the reality of God in front of me. Admittedly, some of the criticisms aimed at self-professed Christians does ring some truth, but still, it is saddening for me. It's like someone decided to spit at your Dad's face and you wish you could reason with him/ her why she was wrong to do so somehow without ramming your entire head at his/her stomach. I wish I have the academic means of persuasion to reason out my faith. For one thing, why does it seem like it is so wrong to vilify Muslims these days, but it is still cool to jeer at Christians?

Theological thoughts aside, I learnt something from a blog that I ought to put more into practice. To lean on faith rather than attempt to reason it all out.

PS: Sorry, but another thought: "Rich Christian" is an oxymoron? Sigh....

Labels: Rambles

Is it possible to be so sucked into work that you find it difficult to keep time for your friends?

Wedding planning is a sometimes hair-pluckingly annoying matter at times. More so when other people are involved. I understand that people have their own schedules and it is often not easy to confirm meetings until the last minute. However, I would think, esp if it is for the cause of a good friend, one would note down things when booked in advance. I was flabbergasted that, after telling me that he would be free on a certain day, someone actually went on to schedule another appointment with work and casually notified me, when I contacted him a few days before the event, that he had something on. And this went on again and again. Until I am seriously wondering if I am even of consequence in his priorities. Because now, when I asked him if he would at least be attending my wedding, there was no response. Oh God. Like, "yes I would be attending, providing nothing from work crops up on that day."

I can safely say that, if any of my friends need help for their wedding, I will note the date down first thing in my calendar. I see the failure to do so at least to be a sign that our friendship is perhaps not worth something in your heart. Perhaps I cannot use such harsh criteria to judge others. There have been times in which I fail my friends and loved ones as well. However, I can safely say that I have never left people hanging till the last minute. And, if you mean something to me, I want to try my best to make it for important events in your lives.

Are we still friends? I don't want to do this, too. You seemed only too happy when I suggested it. Sigh.

Anyway I'm thankful all the same for the other wonderful friends who have sacrificed their times for my big day. Some are not even very close to me. Thanks, guys. For all the hiccups now, God alone will make it wonderful on that day.

Labels: Rambles

I never realised moving house is so problematic until I met with movers. Today marked the 2nd time I faced problems dealing with them. Now my family runs a business and I can understand that movers have problems keeping to time because of the nature of their job: delays, traffic, etc, etc. But it is terribly annoying to keep being made to wait and then told at the last minute that they were unable to make it on time, can they deliver, like 6-7 hours later than scheduled?? This is more so when we are not staying at the said place and had to make special trips down, just to wait! And it is even more difficult when we have to study and work...meaning we ourselves have precious little time to waste waiting!

If they fail to deliver my furniture by the said time tomorrow, I will just leave for my appointment. Period.

One more paper. Done forever? Yes, never again. Academia drives you nuts.

Labels: Rambles, Random, Saya Affairs

I'm probably sounding terribly self-righteous here, but I have an especial dislike for people who sweat the small stuff. And those who want something but are too lazy to put in the effort to work towards the goal.

Labels: Rambles

I know I'm supposed to study for exams, but the my Mac is proving too much of a distraction at home, so I decided to go out to study. Alas, the venture faced with much hurdles so I ended back home in about 2 hours.

It looks like many people are getting married. Or, more aptly, many more are having children. I'm not sure why people have been asking Mister and I about children. I mean, we are not even married yet?? Babies are definitely not on our list right now. We are barely even spending enough time together for the past one year, with our respective crazy schedules coupled with wedding preparations and house renovation. Anyhow, I think not going overseas together as a couple has its merits. Somehow the delayed anticipation makes you look forward to marriage life more effectively.

Going back to the issue of children, I have never been a kid person. I had even been told that my voice is too booming and would thus scare children during a job interview. The last I saw, that company (which incidentally aims to churn out whiz kids for families with money to burn) was still looking to hire people for that position I applied for. All I can say is, good luck. Anyway I only like looking at kids in the same way as you would look at a soft toy: cute, perhaps huggable, but you wouldn't want to interact with it the same way you do your peers. Somehow, in my mind, I have this nagging suspicion that they are sub-humans; you can talk to them, but you need to go a bit below your intellectual and other capacities to do so. Sounds harsh? Yes, I admit it. I am heartless when it comes to children. So do not ask me about having children.

I saw a friend's profile on FB, which gave me a huge shock. This gal, while never good-looking by most standards, did have an okay share of suitors back in our undergrad days. Then, she and an older acquaintance of mine fell madly for each other and as they said, the rest is history. I found out that she recently gave birth to their 2nd boy and was thoroughly taken aback by her appearance. It was bad enough after her 1st boy. To put it simply, she now looks no different from the heartland aunties you see roaming about S'pore. Fat, swollen by the water retention and seemingly moving about in the auntie manner. And she is younger than me by a number of years! And her husband...let's just say that, although he had never been a hunk, he looks positively sad now.

Now I know that pregnancy causes water retention and that mothers sacrifice a lot etc, etc. But Mister and I simply find the entire parenting process, from its conception to erm...maturity?? frightening. The frightening standards of living, the horror of juggling career and motherhood. I really cannot conceive of this. This is not to say that I will not have a tod one day. I'm just saying that, I am not one of those who view marriage as needing to result in progeny. I'm perfectly happy having a dog or for Mister to have his dream rabbit to see us through the rest of our days. But that is a question for another day.

Labels: Rambles, Random

Friday marked the last day of evening lessons at NUS. Time certainly flew by; it's been nearly a year and my time as a student had once again ended. We took plenty of pics with the 2 profs...all on FB. As I drove home in the drizzle, a wave of nostalgia swept over me.

I had hated evening lessons and that heavy feeling of needing to revise during free time, as well as finish your assignments. I thoroughly disliked not earning a salary when I needed money to pay for so many things in the course of planning for wedding and renovating my new house. God took care of them all. I'm grateful for my scholarship, although I've decided not to serve the bond after weighing the costs. My hostility towards the gahment has increased a lot since my last job and it has not been lightened by the study. I hope not to be involved in a place that served the state so directly. And, not to forget, my health also suffered badly in the course of all these activities.

And all this is coming to an end. I'm feeling this syndrome, which I forgot the name of...the one where you actually weep for your kidnapper?? LOL I know this sounds really extreme, but that's what I've been feeling.

I will miss the intellectual satisfaction of being a student, despite not having enough time to properly digest all that I had learned. I'll miss NUS food! It's cheap and good here. NTU is seriously sad. I'll miss the centrality of the place, despite the difficulty of getting home in the evenings. Will miss the profs and classmates.

Labels: Rambles, Random, Saya Affairs

Been feeling very tired these few days. Which is very strange, because, biologically, this is not supposed to happen. Oh well...

Anyway, I realised that S'poreans are very, very kiasu. Being classmates with some made me realise that some ppl I thot I knew r indeed super kiasu abt grades! And doing grp project with *ehem* mature ladies are a a bit of a pain at times. Why are S'poreans so afraid to take the jump? Why do they have to question until they know everything before they start?? And why are they so damned anal and lack creativity?? Gosh...

I don't mean to rail against those staying in HDB flats, but my neighbour is strange. Very strange. The 1st time I saw him, I was walking towards my flat and he just stood and stared until I went in. Creepy. Last week, Mister and I were waiting for a delivery when I noticed Mr. Creepy next door going in and out repeatedly from his house. Then, at one point, he stood, leaned back a little and peered into our house! After that, I just lost any interest in initiating smile at him.

Then there was this strange guy who came to our door and pointed to our iron gate, saying that we need to do something about it; there had been many cases of break-ins through the hinge side of iron gates. He pulled out some iron bolts which appeared no different from what we already had and said he can replace them, for $79 fee! We refused and I asked him to leave his contact number. He refused, saying that it must be done now. I asked again and he walked away, saying maybe another time. I think I must exercise lotsa caution after moving in. HDBs are full of creepy people.

Labels: Rambles, Random, Se-lat-por Affairs

The worst thing about planning for a wedding is that, almost everybody wants to have a say or two in many affairs. I think this is especially so in Chinese families.

One of the most common grouses among young Chinese is the fact that they are pressured by their families to hold banquets when all they want is a simple solemnization or some different affair. I'm personally not a fan of banquets and had probably already written an exhaustive entry on why, so I will not bable on about this issue any longer. I'm glad that in this respect at least, I get a bit of leeway by holding mine in a different venue. Although not exactly my ideal (there are far too many invitation that I would ideally prefer) it is still different and that is exactly how I like it: not mass produced.

The thing about marriage is that, it is no longer about what you and your family wants, but should also take into account what the in-laws might think. The notion of pleasing everybody becomes an even more remote possibility.

Finances is really shrinking. I'm grateful that God made me save up for that few years before going to study. Still, I've spent more than I should on frivolities this month. And I still want more! Just to tide over that pain of being a poor student. Ironic, isn't it.

My new house is going up beautifully, esp after the chandeliers were put up. I can't believe what a difference great lighting made! Mister told me that it's even more gorgeous at night. I can't wait for renovation to finish. Here's praying that my last chandelier goes up well too. We called it "Purple Princess", because, well, it is decorated with purple crystals. But it is a fragile little thing and some beads etc were falling out even as I was carrying it to the lighting shop to buy bulb for it. I'm glad our contractor had sense not to allow his men to sweep the beads away; hey it pays to get an awesome contractor!

Gave a surprise party to my uncle at Crystal Jade in Vivo last night. I was thinking of my new house the entire night, gazing at the restaurant's red decor. Everything is going nicely, except perhaps my studies. I wish I'm as smart as some people. Sigh.

Labels: Rambles, Random

I have decided to skip lecture tonight. This obsession with doing a dissertation-worthy term paper has reached its limit for me. I actually emailed D about feeling angry at what he did about 1998: reducing it to mere statistics and downplaying the existence of rape victims. He responded to a later email about statistics, but not to that issue. I don't know if he had seen it; the lack of reply does make me feel like I'm in the wrong but I think deep inside my heart, I know everyone feels the same. I'm the only idiot who spoke our minds. Well, it's not the first time. Asians are not known to be the most assertive. I am not either, but I think time and age have changed me somewhat. I am not about to let something that matter to me and to my kind be treated lightly.

I am not the smartest person around. In fact, I suspect I'm prolly the dumbest since Hons days or even prior to that. But I try my best in everything I do and I think I've been reasonably well-regarded, career-wise, so I don't fear for my rice bowl.

Speaking of career, I am getting less and less partial towards the idea of serving my bond in a certain place. Bureaucracy and the resulting inflexibility annoy me like nothing else. Why must I pay 50 cent to deposit my belongings in a locker, fill up endless registration forms for my details and purpose for being there and promise to send my thesis to them just to use the damned library? Oh, and buy a new photocopying card just to use that one and only photocopy machine in the entire place. If it wasn't because I was desperate, I would not have deigned to step in! And even then, I didn;t really find what I was looking for. So I just have to suck it and plough through that paper the best I could. Thankfully, Boss had asked me back.

Can't wait to finish this whole damn study. Can't wait for the holidays. Can't wait to wedding day. Can't wait to start earning a proper salary. Meanwhile, back to the paper I go.

Labels: Rambles, Random, Saya Affairs

I wish that I possess just some of that zzzz genes that my maternal side of the family have. These people can sleep anywhere, anytime they want (or don't want). Then I dont have to think that much about the kind of mattress and pillow that I need to buy. And I won't have to spend so much. Getting married is an exorbitant affair. Or at least it applies more to moi *sigh*

I think I'm forced to skip lecture tmr. D is annoying the life out of everyone in class with his Marxist interpretation of virtually everything in this planet (he managed to believe that even gender and sexuality is influences by class) and breathing down our necks for the research note. It's crazy. This is not a thesis class. We are all either working part-timers or students struggling with 4 other modules. And he puts us all in stereotypes. Yes, I am Indon Chinese, but we are not just "petty bourgeoisie". We work hard for our money. And we do not throw our hard-earned cash like the Lim family on frivolous things. And statistics do not speak the whole truth. Do not attempt to convince me that rapes do not occur during 1998 just because you can't find reliable data. If one can find reliable data about anything in Indonesia, it won't be the way it is.

I just discovered that Mannelli bracelets are actually a must-have for fashionistas: http://mannelliflorence.com/index2.php?pag=1 Not as famous as Hermes bracelets, but way more affordable! Anyone going to Florence? I want one (or maybe 3!)

Labels: Rambles, Random, Saya Affairs

I think there is a serious prob when a family is rich enough to afford a new, branded car but have problems using it to go to the market, or for any other purpose for that matter. What I mean is that, even if they are willing to "dirty" the new car, it is not available at home at the time of need, but instead is over elsewhere that already possesses 2 cars of their own. I think it is a serious flaw in the moral values of those who thinks the need to butter up rich friends but have no time to think about their mother/ in-law who needs the car to go to the market or go to her great-grandson's birthday. I think it is crazy that people are thinking that, just because an old man is wealthy, he needs to buy the best car and do other things just because he can afford it.

I think there is no need to go to the most expensive restaurants to have the most delicious food. Some of the best foods I've had are in the remote corner of Chinatown or at the roadside in Bangkok and Hanoi. I also do not see the shame in choosing to celebrate one's 80th birthday at home even though he can afford better.

I am of the opinion that, unfortunately, in this life, if you are blessed with wealth, people will be kind to you even if you behave like an asshole. So, thrifty people, eat dust.

Labels: Rambles, Random

I was made to chair class discussion twice this week. Gosh, public speaking is something I fear the most. It was many years till I found the best method that work for my Powerpoint presentation: prepare the script (complete with cue as to when to click the mouse) beforehand and read off it! But it is something else to chair class discussion, esp when it was impromptu! Thank goodness Dr. T was pretty encouraging, despite his ah beng ways. And I guess a masters level class was less intimidating than PhD one. Still I know I have a long way to go before perfecting my public speaking skills. I don't even like to ask questions in class, because the first words that come out of my mouth tend to sound so raw and awkward. I much prefer penning down my thoughts, where they can be subject to a little editing to sound more polished.

Been waking up automatically at 4 plus am and having a hard time trying to fall back into sleep. It makes for a tired and not to mention grumpy person the next day.

I'm sick of being pressed for decisions. For months now, I've had to make decisions about my house, my wedding, my MA stuff etc etc etc. Can someone pls help me decide, esp when things involve lotsa money, for now?

Labels: Rambles, Random, Saya Affairs